Home to Texas
by Reparata
Summary: Sheldon leaves Pasadena and his career and returns home, broken and betrayed. The people in his life unwillingly come to his rescue. He has found a life for himself that is satisfying. Will he want to go back? Sheldon/Penny Complete in a fluffy manner you all seem to get off on.
1. Law of Backstabbing

Prologue – setting the stage

Sheldon was in Hell. After the disastrous betrayal by his friends during last summer's Artic Expedition, he had been relegated to the 2nd String of the Physics Department. Every thing he did required the prior approval of the Department Chair, Dr. Eric Gabelhauser.

Every article, every expenditure, every request for time on the Cray, everything, even office supplies, required his boss's prior approval. He was being forced out and it hurt.

He had lost his credibility as a physicist and the respect of his peers. Sheldon Lee Cooper, PhD, was resigning and returning to Texas. There was an Associate Professor position open at a local community college and he'd applied and been accepted and would begin teaching summer courses in June.

He would use the summer to lick his wounds and recover his dignity. He was at the bottom of the ladder again but he would find a way to climb back up and win that damnably elusive Nobel Prize.

He had a gross thought involving the medal and Gabelhauser's rectum and felt ashamed but then tittered a laugh. The only way a hack administrator like Eric Gabelhauser could possess a Nobel Prize was if they awarded one for 'Nit Picking' or he bought someone else's on Ebay.

He printed out his letter of resignation, signed it, folded it and put it in an envelope and dropped it into the department mail drop. It was done. His stomach growled and he glanced at his watch. Drat! He was hungry but wouldn't impose his company on his former friends and colleagues.

Satisfied that the die had been cast and that his Rubicon had been transited, Sheldon locked his office and walked down to the bus stop. He was going home. The true measure of his depression was that he hadn't once given a thought to taking the spare set of bungee cords from his storage closet.

* * *

Cafeteria

"Where's Dr. Dumbass been hiding, Hofstadter? I haven't heard his wheeze or seen him mantising around in like…a month or two, not that I miss him or anything."

"He's been keeping to himself, Leslie. He must be on to something big, huge even, since he's either here at CalTech or home, sleeping. You need to cut him some slack, Leslie. We all do after his research paper on monopoles was so badly received." He looked around the table at his two friends and fixed them with a glare.

"Well, he presented a conclusion based upon either accidental or deliberate misrepresentation of data. I'd say he got what he deserved. He finally fell off that pedestal he raised in his own honor. It's very satisfying somehow. Almost like…an orgasm."

Leonard looked at the other two scientists at the table and started to say something.

"Leslie, it wasn't his fault. He based…"

"What Leonard is trying to say is that he misinterpreted his findings. He was going nuts up there; we all were. Something needed to be done about it since he forbid us building a crossbow." Howard stabbed his Cobb salad with his fork.

Leslie Winkle was no stranger to academic politics. She'd gotten as far as she had because she understood the Law of Backstabbing but this…this went beyond politics. For the first time in her life she felt…pity for someone. It was a strange feeling, almost like premenstrual cramps but higher up near her cardiac region.

"You three did something up there, didn't you? Something that gave Cooper data that was totally unsupportable and that couldn't be duplicated. You – you guys stabbed your friend in the back! I guess I'm not the only one around here who hates Dr. Dumbass but even I wouldn't go as far as you three did."

Leonard watched Leslie stalk across the cafeteria and out the door. He didn't know what had gone down between Sheldon and Winkle but it had left the two of them with nothing but animus for one another. It was almost as if she were a spurned lover. And even _she_ thought what they'd done, without knowing specifics, was wrong.

"Guys, we've got to come clean about what happened last summer. It's not right. Even Leslie 'I hate Sheldon Cooper' Winkle thinks so."

Howard looked up from his burger and snickered. "If we hadn't done what we did, we'd have all been in prison awaiting execution. It was _your_ idea, remember? All Raj and I did was go along for the ride. If you have a guilty conscience, deal with it."

"No, Howard, we wronged Sheldon, and it our responsibility to make it right. He is our friend, even if we wanted to slay him and leave him on the ice for the polar bears to devour."

* * *

Apartment Building

Sheldon picked up his carry-on bag and left his apartment for the last time. Penny was trudging up the stairs after another day of work at the Cheesecake Factory and smiled when she saw him.

"Oh my, Sheldon! Look at you! I love that black pin-striped suit on you. It makes you look so distinguished." Actually she loved Sheldon in anything. It didn't matter. The girl was in l-o-v-e …_lurve._

"Penny, I left several large cardboard boxes in your living room. They are clearly marked and there is a list of contents on a laminated piece of paper taped to each. Use the contents to further your career, pay bills, whatever you want. I need to go. My cab is waiting."

"Go? Where are you going? Some sciency convention?"

"Yes, Queen Penelope. Some sciency thing. Take care, my queen." He looked all twitchy like he wanted to say more but abruptly turned and grabbed his bag and practically ran down the stairs. He had wanted to avoid seeing Penny and the awkwardness of saying goodbye to the one person he'd miss leaving behind in Pasadena.

Okay, there was another but that ship had long ago left the dock and sunk in deep waters of the Mariana Trench.

* * *

Leonard, Raj and Howard had bar-hopped most of the night and so Leonard had no idea that the apartment was void of anything that belonged to Sheldon. He was too drunk to notice when he got in and too hung over the next morning to worry about it.

He knocked on Sheldon's door and then went to make coffee and scrounge something for breakfast. He called out Sheldon's name and chuckled. Lately Sheldon had been harder to rouse than normal.

"Sheldon?" He knocked and waited and then knocked again. No answer. He braced himself for the shrieks of outrage but they were going to be late if he didn't get a move on. He opened the door and found an empty room with just a bed and a mattress and an empty chest of drawers. Everything else was gone.

* * *

He hadn't been at his lab more than a few minutes before a graduate assistant came in and told him that Dr. Gabelhauser wanted to see him in his office immediately. Leonard nodded and grabbed his white lab coat and made his way to his boss's office. The lab coat was his uniform telling everyone that Leonard Hofstadter was a scientist.

He walked in to the anteroom and was surprised to see Leslie Winkle, Howard and Raj waiting to see Dr. Gabelhauser.

"Anyone know why we were all summoned?" He could understand the 3 men but not Leslie being called in. Maybe something bad had happened to Sheldon?

No one knew. Leonard was distracted from their situation because of Sheldon's abrupt and unannounced departure.

"Sheldon is gone. His room is empty. All his comics, action figures and clothes are gone. He didn't leave a note or anything. Anyone know what's up with that?" He squinted at them, sure at least one of them would know something.

"What do you mean, _'Sheldon is gone'_? He was here yesterday and…" Just then Gablehauser opened the door and frowned. "Get in here, all of you." He didn't look happy at all and Leonard felt a loosening in his bowels that he couldn't blame on his lactose intolerance.

He was suddenly very afraid.

The department chairman stared at the four and then held up a letter on ornate stationery. He looked at it as if refreshing his mind as to the contents and then he dropped his bombshell.

"This is a letter I received from the Max Planck Society of Institutes asking that I grant a sabbatical to Dr. Cooper so that he could guest lecture. Apparently Dr. Cooper had turned them down twice before, both times since returning from his ill-fated Artic expedition."

His voice got very cold. "The Institutes have generated 32 Nobel prize winners. This institution has only generated 3. I had hoped that Dr. Cooper's work would have been validated during his expedition but we all know how that ended, don't we? I wonder if Dr. Cooper knows just why his data was flawed? Apparently not, since he never breathed a word to anyone, simply crawling back into his shell, all confidence gone."

"You didn't? Tell me you didn't mess with his data. Tell me you didn't sabotage his results just to get out of an uncomfortable situation. Tell me, damn you!" Ah, the utility of the Law of Backstabbing.

Leslie Winkle's face was contorted into a rage and the three scientists shrank back from her. Leonard was sure his sphincter had failed momentarily when she focused that rage on him.

'_Interesting reaction,'_ thought Dr. Gabelhauser. '_Apparently the old tales are true. Winkle and Cooper? Incredible!'_

"Dr. Winkle, you are not without blame for Cooper's situation. Or perhaps I should refer to him by your pet name, _Dr. Dumbass_?"

He held up another folded letter and snapped it open with a flick of his wrist. He'd tried to enable young Cooper to regain his self confidence by making him submit every article, every request for mainframe time, every administrative detail to his office hoping when the requests were automatically approved without question that he'd regain what he lost but that had obviously failed gloriously.

"I have here Dr. Cooper's letter of resignation. It was effective yesterday. His office is empty and I daresay one could eat off the floor. He is nothing if not predictable. You have all had a hand in this," he said, shaking the letter at them, "and now you will fix it."

"He has accrued nearly four months of vacation and another 2 of sick leave. That's how long you four have to find him and convince him to return. If you fail, you're all fired and I guarantee that any requests for recommendation will be denied and any responses regarding your performance from prospective employers will be less than stellar. Get out of my office and don't show your faces again except to resign or escort Cooper back here."

The four shocked scientists turned but he had one more thing to say.

"Don't think appealing to the faculty board will do you any good. I spent nearly all night going over the details and suspicions regarding the Artic expedition with them and I have their full backing."

Leslie Winkle was torn between loving and hating Sheldon Cooper. It was still his name on her lips when she pleasured herself and she still found herself aching when she saw him on campus. It had been nearly eight years and still…it hurt. Every time it hurt, she resolved to hurt _him_ but even she wouldn't go so far as to sabotage his work.

Leslie looked at the three geeks and ground out through clenched teeth, "Hoffstadter's apartment, tonight, 7 o'clock. We're going to figure out how to salvage our careers out of the clusterfuck you've created."

* * *

Leonard left work at noon after searching through Sheldon's office. He had vacuumed his desk drawers and he'd even degaussed his hard drive leaving no clues as to his activities in the past weeks or his ultimate destination upon leaving.

The same was true of their apartment. There wasn't one thing that might even suggest that Leonard had had a roommate. Everything was clean and immaculately reorganized to eliminate any Sheldon 'residue'.

Penny burst into the apartment and he turned smiling but the smile dropped to the floor when he saw the look on her face. Within a second, his body followed his smile. A right hook had caught him low on the jaw and practically lifted him off his feet.

"He's gone and it's all because of you and your petty insecurities and jealousy! He's gone, Leonard. And he lied to me! He's never lied to me – ever. He's gone and it's all your fault – yours and those freaks he thought were his friends. I hate you, Leonard, I really, really hate you all for what you did!"

"Penny, you don't understa – "

"I'm not stupid, Leonard. You think I can't read? He left his journal in a box. I don't think he even knew it was in between his comic books. You should read it, Leonard, read what you did to that sweet, trusting man…"

Her face clouded up and she started to cry and it wasn't a normal 'cry' for Penny. No. This was the cry of a woman in agony because of a broken heart.

* * *

Across town in an upscale condominium, Leslie Winkle was going through the same emotional upheavals as Penny except that hers were tempered by 8 years of denial. _Damn it, Moon Pie, damn it to hell!_

* * *

In another apartment, Dr. Rajeesh Koothrappalli, astrophysicist was Skyping with his parents telling them that he might be coming home to Delhi and that they should begin looking for a nice Indian girl for him. When asked about 'why', he told them the truth, not able to lie to his mummy.

His father's scowl and his mother's words closed the door on any homecoming for him. He'd been cast out, disowned and unnamed. He was on his own for the first time in his life. _Damn Sheldon Cooper!_

* * *

Wallowitz looked at the clock and shoved another fork full of brisket and broasted potatoes into his face and weighed his options. They were few and none of them were particularly palatable. Going with his mother to Israel was probably not going to happen since he was a coward and service in the IDF was not something he thought he could stomach…and then there was the whole Mars Rover thingy_… Damn Sheldon Cooper!_

_A/N: Shall I continue? _


	2. Playing the Blame Game

A/N: Thank you for the wonderful responses, reviews and alerts. This chapter deals with those he left behind and their plans and actions. Sheldon is on everyone's mind but does not appear in this chapter but the next.

Please read the A/N at the chapter's end. And review and offer suggestions for the 'dish best served cold'.

Thanks again for the support.

Reparata

* * *

Chapter 2

Apartment 4b  
7pm

"What is **_she_ **doing here?" Both women looked at Leonard for an explanation and from the looks on their faces, nothing would satisfy either of them.

"Each of you has a connection with Sheldon and we want to use you as a resource, Penny. Leslie is here because she has to be. She'd under the same Sword of Damocles as the rest of us."

Penny was a little put off by Leonard's comment that she was to be 'used' and she really didn't like Winkle's attitude towards her.

"I don't care what Sword of Democracy you're all under. I just want to find Sheldon and make sure he's okay and then talk to him and get him to come home." Penny spoke from the heart.

"Well, Penny, you could always promise to do him. He'd be crazy not to come back for that," Howard said with a leer. His leer changed to panic when Penny grabbed him by the neck and started throttling him.

"Howard, that's enough. We all want to find Sheldon and bring him home for our own reasons. Penny, we need you to call Missy. If anyone knows where Sheldon is, it'll be her. Please, call her?"

Penny let go of Howard's throat and sent him a 'don't fuck with me' glare and then ignored him for the remainder of the discussion.

"Why is it so important to all of you that he come back? Tell me and I'll tell you what Missy says. I'm going to call anyway so you might as well tell me now because I won't tell you a damned thing until I know why he left."

"Sheldon's had some kind of a breakdown because of what…what happened in the Artic. He's paranoid and depressed and – " he tried to paint a bleak picture of Sheldon's mental state.

"Exactly _what_ happened up there in Santa Land, hmm, Leonard?" She was like a dog with a bone…a pit bull…a pissed off pit bull. The way she was looking at him reminded him of Shark Week on Discovery Channel.

"Look, you've never been cooped up with Sheldon and his OCD and his schedules and his dogmatic ways without any hope of escaping. It was horrible and we were all getting cabin fever and finally…we altered some results and we came home. That's all we did and now he's gone."

"That's not exactly true, is it, Leonard?" Leslie was quietly plotting the deaths of Wolowitz, Koothrappalli and Hofstadter. She was sure that the blonde Barbie would help her dispose of the bodies. Messing with someone's scientific research was akin to killing babies by broiling them in her mind. Both were equally disgusting.

It took nearly half an hour but finally they all confessed their treachery and Penny left, slamming the door so hard that soda cans in the refrigerator exploded. She slammed her own door and went to find her cell phone. She thought she'd left it in her purse but she couldn't find her damned purse.

The door to their apartment flew open and Penny told Leonard to call her in a minute. She couldn't find her cell. The door slammed again and Leonard called her cell, surprised she was smart enough to think of it and snickering that she couldn't find much in that disaster area she called an apartment without Sheldon around.

Penny found her purse under some dirty clothes by listening for the ring tone and dug around in her purse until she found her ringing cell phone and then hung up on Leonard. Penny called Sheldon's sister, Missy, in Texas.

"_Missy, hi, it's Penny in Pasadena. Listen, I need your help. Sheldon's gone and we don't know where he's gone to just that he…oh, Missy, he left me all his stuff except for some clothes…he left his action figures, his comic books…please…do you know where he is?"_

"_Nope. Don't have a clue where he be right now but he'll be here in two days' time but I'm tellin' ya if Shelly don't want to talk to nobody, he don't. You know how damned stubborn he is and it's gotten bad to worst since Memaw passed."_

Penny cringed at Melissa's English. Hanging around with smart guys had definitely improved her vocabulary and her diction. Even her agent had noticed and that was one reason she had an important call-back audition for a recurring role in a soap opera. She wanted to tell Sheldon about it but he'd just ran down the stairs to his cab.

"_When you see him, tell him I miss him and he needs to come back home. We can work on whatever's wrong and fix it."_

"_Oh, girlfriend, ya got it bad for my brother, doncha? Ain't gwine make not a nit of difference. Move on. He's not gwine be gittin' serious anytime soon – if ever. He done made that mistake once already and the boy does learn from experience 'ventually."_

"_What the hell does that mean, Missy? Quit talking in Texas riddles and just come out and say it, for God's sake."_

"_Not my tale to tell, Penny. You best wiggle it out of Shelly if you can, but promise me you won't hate him. I mean it, Penny, you promise me!"_

When Penny returned to the boys' apartment she was subdued and confused but most of all, angry, the slow burning anger that most would have recognized back in Nebraska and kept out of her way but here in California with its touchy-feely-have-a-nice-day-go-fuck-yourself posture, the poor bastards didn't have a clue.

"He's on his way home. Missy is supposed to pick him up in Houston at the Amtrack station. She said…she said that he wasn't coming back, ever. That's why he gave me his valuables, so I could sell them to pay bills and stuff."

Leonard squinted at some notes he'd written and then started to lecture the group as if it was an academic situation and he was the guest lecturer.

"Okay, I suggest we give him two or three weeks to calm down, get bored and crazy because of his mom and his brother, and then we show up and rescue him and bring him back here. He'll be a lot easier to deal with after spending that much time with his family."

Leonard figured that would work. His mother would certainly drive him nuts and he'd be more than willing to come back, tail between his legs and grateful, and be easier to deal with and control.

"Won't work. I need to go now. Tonight. I can meet him at the train station and I'll get him to come home with me. You guys just…just stay away from him for a while. Maybe he'll forgive you in time…but I won't. Right now you all should be damned glad I don't have a shotgun because you'd all be looking at each other through the big-assed holes in your chest."

"Penny, that piece of crap car of yours won't make it past Arizona if it gets out of California without breaking down. The guys and I will drive down like I said and bring him back with us. You don't need to be concerned anymore. Just go back to your apartment and let us handle Sheldon Cooper. You have a job and didn't you say you had a big audition coming up?"

Leonard didn't want Penny to do anything to ruin the plan he was hatching and so he played on her dream of becoming a big-time actress and not a loser waitress whose claim to cinematic fame was a non-speaking part in a hemorrhoid commercial.

Penny hated the way Leonard patronized her, treated her like arm candy when it was convenient for him, and then did 'important things' with others. Her life was an open book and he just tore pages out of it when it suited him.

Her Moon Pie would never do that to her. He _wrote_ pages in her book of life. Pissed and depressed, she went back to her own apartment and ate a half-gallon of Ben & Jerry's Cherry Garcia and plotted on her own.

Leslie had watched Penny before she left in a huff and wasn't surprised when she saw tears in her eyes. Dr. Dumbass affected every one he came into contact with, some good, like Penny, and some badly, like his so-called friends. And it was all her fault.

"Okay," said Leonard, thinking he was in charge, "I think that about wraps it up. We'll hold off contacting him until his mom has sufficient time to make his life miserable and then we'll swoop in and rescue him and everything will be back just the way it was except that he'll have expended vacation time but he never takes vacation anyway."

They were all congratulating themselves when Winkle interrupted them with a reality check.

"What happens if he really doesn't want to come back? He's done this before but it was always outside forces that sent him packing. This time he's made his own decision and it's not because of a premature email trumpeting his conquest of String Theory. This time he's made a conscious decision and I don't think he'll be willing to return. What then?"

"Let's burn that bridge when we come to it." He was smiling that squinty little self-satisfied smirk of his and it pissed Winkle off .

"Hofstadter, if that's your Plan B then you three should be updating your resumes."

"Wait a minute, Leslie, you're in just as much jeopardy as we are. Remember the meeting with Gabelhauser that prompted _this_ meeting?"

"I'm a woman. I'll claim discrimination and sexism and I'll beat it. If ya got it, flaunt it." She turned and blew Raj, who hadn't said a word the entire time, a kiss and waved in Howard's general direction and left after telling Leonard to "Get your shit together on this, Hofstadter, and get Moon Pie back here. Let me know our travel schedule."

It was Raj who connected the dots but he kept his mouth shut. Leslie had referred to Sheldon as 'Moon Pie' and he knew that only the three of them and Penny knew of Sheldon's nickname from his grandmother.

He wasn't stupid. He was a scientist, a trained observer, and it wasn't difficult to come to the obvious conclusion that Leslie Winkle and Sheldon Cooper had once been friends, intimate friends.

So why did she hate him with such a passion?

* * *

The next few weeks were full of planning and waiting for the guys. Leslie simply went about her day-to-day tasks as if nothing was wrong. She wasn't sure just how she felt about waiting. There were too many variables in Texas that made waiting dangerous to their retrieval plan.

The biggest news was that Penny had landed a recurring role in NBS' highest rated soap opera, _Damaged Goods_. Her days were filled with memorizing lines, shooting scenes over and over and worrying about Sheldon. The more she worried, the less she ate. Sleep was hard to come by between her schedule and her concerns for Sheldon. All this took a physical toll on Penny but her producers were delighted.

"Penny, the angsty looks you generate when dealing with your cheating slimeball of a boyfriend, the honesty that you put into your lines, well,quite frankly it's more than we expected. We're increasing your face-time and the writers are really digging your character. The ratings are up and it's all because our audience identifies with you. You're on your way, young lady."

Penny smiled wanly. Except for her old friends at the Cheesecake Factory and her old drinking buddies, she had no one special to share her success with and it made her sad and even more depressed.

She missed her whack-a-doodle. Her life was filled with meaninglessness now and she finally knew why.

She was in love with Sheldon Lee Cooper.

* * *

**A/N: The next chapter deals with Sheldon's adjustments and his new 'life' in Texas. He'll be OOC for a few more chapters so hang in there. He's breaking the mold and writing new pages in his own book of life.**

**Revenge is a dish best served cold, remember? I do. And it's getting chilly.**


	3. Reinventing Dr Cooper

A/N: To answer some questions regarding the 2-yr school vs a 4-yr 'institution', it's easier to secure a position quickly at a community college especially if you have a PhD and since he's 'starting over' it fits better and gets him physically home.

Thanks for the interest, reviews and alerts. I've reached a critical decision point so pls respond to the poll on my profile.

* * *

Chapter 3 Reinventing Dr. Cooper, PhD

Classes didn't start for a month and so he had plenty of time to clean up his Meemaw's place that he'd inherited, not that it was dirty or anything, just disused. He patched sections of fence and finished repairing the pole barn roof.

His Meemaw was in her grave less than a year and already the place was showing signs of neglect. The paint was peeling on the north and western sides of the house and the flowerbeds were overgrown with weeds.

Tomorrow he would tackle the timing belt on the old Ford pickup truck but for now, in the cooling spring evening, he sat on the porch drinking a cup of tea and let his mind wander.

* * *

Missy had picked him up at the train station in Houston and hadn't said much on the drive home. She loved her brother but didn't really feel comfortable around him. She was dim compared to his brilliance and she'd bullied him horribly growing up because of it.

"So, Shelly, you're home. For how long?" He'd made her promise not to tell his mother that he was coming home. He'd get around to it but Mary Cooper was a meddler and she'd meddle in his life and it had already been meddled with enough.

"I have a position at the County Community College and I start teaching in June. I have no intentions of returning to Pasadena. I've come home. I never should have left. I can't handle people and new places and so I've come home, Missy. Now, eyes on the road, please."

That had been all the explanation he'd given his sister and all that she required. She'd call Penny or Raj and get the truth out of them. Missy had thought about calling one other but wasn't sure if she was still at CalTech and besides, she probably wouldn't take her call. They hadn't exactly parted as friends.

That _had_ been her plan. Call one of his friends, find out what happened, fix it, and send him back where he belonged.

"Missy, I can hear the cogs and gears and springs of your mind even over here. I want a promise from you, Melissa, a Sibling Promise. Should anyone inquire, do not tell them where I am. No exceptions, Missy. Sibling Swear it."

"Shelly, we're not 5 years old anymore. We're – " but he cut her off. "Swear it, Melissa. And my name is Lee Cooper. Sheldon is gone, dead, buried, better forgotten. I have to start over and 'Sheldon' carries too many bad memories. And you only called me 'Shelly' because it got me riled, so quit it."

Yes, it _had_ been her plan to call one of his friends but one of them had called her so Sibling Swearing wasn't impossible for her. She'd _already_ done what she would swear not to do in the future.

She remembered the conversation quite well since it came right on the heels of her brother's call to her to pick him up at the train station in Houston in 2 days.

"_Missy, hi, it's Penny in Pasadena. Listen, I need your help. Sheldon's gone and we don't know where he's gone to just that he…oh, Missy, he left me all his stuff except for some clothes…his action figures, his comic books…please…do you know where he is?"_

"_Nope. Don't have a clue where he is but he'll be here in two days' time but I'm tellin' ya if Shelly don't want to talk to anybody he don't. You know how damned stubborn he is and it's gotten bad to worst since Memaw passed."_

"_When you see him, tell him I miss him and he needs to come back home. We can work on whatever's wrong and fix it."_

"_Oh, girlfriend, ya got it bad for my brother, doncha? Ain't gwine make not a nit of difference. Move on. He's not gwine be gittin' serious anytime soon – if ever. He done made that mistake once already and the boy does learn, 'ventually."_

"_What the hell does that mean, Missy? Quit talking in Texas riddles and just come out and say it, for God's sake."_

"_Not my tale to tell, Penny. You best wiggle it out of Shelly, if you can but promise me you won't hate him. I mean it, Penny, you promise me!"_

* * *

Sheldon mentally added several items to his To Do list: call the county agent about livestock, check out his granddaddy's 'ride' and make whatever repairs were necessary and finally, go shopping for 'local clothing'. He'd left most of his t-shirts and other belongings with Penny, sending the rest ahead via UPS. There had been a huge stack of parcels on the front porch and it was a testament to his isolation and the morals of his few neighbors that they hadn't been stolen.

He fingered a tear in the knee of his plaid pants. The fabric was comfortable and suitable for a 'lab rat' but out in God's Country it was woefully inadequate. He moved shopping to the head of the list. The old Ford had sat for a year or more, another day or two wouldn't change anything. And besides, it started up once he'd primed the carburetor.

* * *

He called his sister and asked her to 'take me shopping at the Mall, Missy, and I'll buy you shoes'. Missy and Penny had similar tastes in men, liquor, clothes and…shoes.

"Y'know, big brother, ya gotta get a driver's license to get back and forth to school. I'm _not_ driving you to school every day, that's for damned sure. I'll swing by the DMV and get you a booklet."

Over the next few days he accomplished more than he thought he would. In fact, he was almost done with the critical items on his listing – and he had a driver's license!

* * *

Sheldon vs The DMV

"Now, Mr. Cooper, your test was – "

"It's _Doctor_ Cooper, not mister." He'd written that on his application. He had serious reservations about the quality of DMV personnel if they couldn't read.

"Yes, Doctor Cooper. Now, as I was saying, the test was a simple multiple-choice selection, not an essay test. You wrote answers on your test paper without choosing the available answer on our form in many instances. You failed the written part of the exam. Come back in 30 days and retake it."

"Wait just a goldarned minute here. I have an IQ of 187 and am a theoretical particle physicist. The options available were incorrect in most instances. For example, 'When is the road most slippery?' and the answers were trite and in most cases ignored the condition of the vehicle's tires and the composition of the road surface itself. Concrete is less slippery when wet than asphalt unless the heat is above 107F then asphalt becomes less slippery due to the accumulation of oily particles on the surface that increase the coefficient of friction and…"

"Okay, I'll give you that one. Now," she looked over the tops of her glasses at him, "you didn't answer the question about infants and toddlers requiring special restraint and…"

"Oh, that one wouldn't apply to me. I have no children and have no intentions of acquiring any. I skipped that one entirely as 'non-applicable'."

"Fine. I'll give you that one, too," she sighed and looked at the clock on the wall. She had lunch plans and this whacko was going to screw them up.

After 40 minutes of debate, Sheldon left the DMV (and a very hungry and upset clerk) with a Texas driver's license. He made her take the photograph twice because he didn't like the first photo.

* * *

His experience at the mall went much the same. He left with jeans, shirts, 'dress slacks', shirts and a pair of heavy-soled work boots. He also, for reasons that escaped him, ended up with several cell phone numbers tucked into various clothing items that he didn't find until he was back home. His sister just shook her head and giggled. He was such a buttwad and those girls were just sniffing around for a good time. As usual, he was oblivious to it all.

Sheldon had been by the hardware and feed and grain stores when he remembered item #6 on his To Do list.

He stopped by the T-Mobile shop (he always liked the commercial with the girl in the pink dress but _really_ liked her when she wore the riding leathers) and had his phone changed over and a new number inserted. The clerk told him he had 43 missed calls and that the voicemail had maxxed out on his old number.

"Dump 'em. Don't want or need to hear 'em."

"Oh, honey, I'm sorry. Bad breakup?"

"The worst." He left the store with his new cell phone and an acquaintance. If he was going to live around here, he needed to loosen up and take the stick out of his butt (as his Queen had told him many, many times) and being 'friendly' was a step in the right direction.

He was getting back into the old Ford pickup when his phone trilled it's Wild Thing ring tone ('Dr. Cooper, this is definitely one you'll want, trust me') and it was Tammi the girl from the phone store. "Dr. Cooper, I just wanted to make sure ya'll's phone worked proper. And that ya'll got my private number if ya'll needed anything in the future. That's **my** ringtone so you'll know it's me."

"Excuse me, but 'you all' is redundant and improper English and 'ya'll' is such poor grammar and so stereotypically Texan that it's almost cute but I'll be sure and call 'y'all' if I need anything. And it's 'worked properly' and that's an adverb and - " Tammi hung up on him.

By the time he got back to 'his' house, he realized two things: the old Ford needed a water pump or a new radiator and he hadn't thought once about String Theory, the Nobel Prize or _them_ since his return.

* * *

Sheldon being Sheldon, had his routines established before too long. Every evening he'd sit on his porch sipping Earl Grey tea and reviewing the day and planning the next. Tomorrow he'd check out his granddaddy's 'ride' and see what needed to be done. As far as he knew, no one had touched it since he died 10 years ago.

He did find that breaking his 'check the cell phone for messages or texts' habit was hard to break even knowing intellectually that no one would call him except those few whom he'd entrusted with his new number. And Tammi.

Tammi called him daily since he'd gotten his new cell phone to 'just talk' and he found himself enjoying her conversations since they reminded him of the Queen he'd left behind; they were utterly inane, pointless and vapid but they did give him something to look forward to.

He was lonely but lived with it. In less than 2 weeks he'd be back in Academia albeit the very lowest rung on the ladder but they hadn't bothered with too much of an interview process after checking his publications and his various references. They were damned glad to have him and he'd been granted tenure before working a day.

The county agent had brokered 2 Santa Gertrudis bulls delivered 'on spec' as well as 10 Santa Gertrudis and 20 long horn cows. Sheldon wanted to strengthen and develop the long horn since its meat was lower in cholesterol and fat, making it more attractive to Yuppies. The term 'Free Range Hormone-free' would apply to the Cooper brand and the price would reflect it.

Apparently he'd inherited his granddaddy's love of cattle ranching. Of course the cows would go to market sooner and the ranch would soon be self-sufficient.

He figured out early on that being a geneticist was a no-go after his grandmother caught him trying to create a griffin as a pet and his mom gave him a long lecture and a beating about 'messin' with God's Divine Plan'. Still, cows weren't much different than peas.

And he could always breed back to _Bos Auroch_.

He hadn't called his mother yet although he'd almost run into her twice in town. Their little community on the outskirts of Galveston wasn't all that big and it was only a matter of time until someone in her Prayer Group got wind of his return and the there'd be Hell to pay.

But until Judgment Day, he'd enjoy life as best he could.

**A/N: I've got 6 chapters in the bag but have reached a decision point. Pls go to my profile and vote or live with what I write. Doesn't matter to me. I can go any of 3 ways depending on my mood.**


	4. Period of Adjustment

The poll results are interesting. Now, I want suggestions for revenge. Honestly, I've come up dry on ideas that don't involve death.

Read carefully.

Reparata

* * *

Chapter 4 Period of Adjustment

Penny looked down at her first paycheck and giggled. It was the best she'd felt since Sheldon had packed it in and gone back to Texas. She missed him more than she would have thought possible. She had taken Sheldon for granted while he was around but now that he was really gone, everything seemed to remind her of him.

Okay, so sometimes they'd go days or even a week or more without seeing one another but it wasn't the same as it now. He wasn't across the hall anymore. He wasn't at the comic book store or playing paintball or obsessing over Leonard Nimoy. No. He wasn't available to fix her computer, partner with on Halo nights, argue with, laugh with and she some nights she missed him so much that she physically ached with the hurt.

The first few nights had been the hardest. His journal entries were fresh in her mind and so was the pain she felt for him when she'd read them. She wanted to drag him to her bed and just hold on to him until he felt better. Not sex, just comfort. The sex would come later, after she felt sure he wouldn't freak out.

He'd always, always been there for her but when he needed her he hadn't felt like she'd care and so he let whatever shit build up and up until finally he couldn't stand it any longer and he'd run as far away from the source of the pain as he could.

She couldn't remember being this heartbroken over a man she hadn't even had a relationship with before but then it slowly dawned on her – she _was_ in a relationship, they'd just been too blind (her) or clueless (him) to call it what it was and pursue it.

His entries were full of her. Penny did this. Penny said that.

'_Queen P kicked ass all over Age of Conan. There's nothing that woman can't do but she's so afraid of being successful that it impedes her.'_

'_My Queen continues to settle for less than she deserves. Why does she pick losers (like Leonard, my best friend) who are obviously only interested in her for purposes of coitus when there are others who simply want to be with her and love her? She's blind but there's sometimes hope. No hope for me though. At least my Queen has never consciously betrayed me or hurt me for her own benefit or for mere whimsy like the other one did.'_

The last entry had shredded her heart and she remembered crying so hard that she nearly vomited. He had worn his heart on his sleeve but she never saw it.

'_I shall miss Penny more than I can say. She has always been my constant since our first meeting. If only she had looked at me like she looked at Leonard that first morning, life in this timeline might have unfolded differently.'_

And then he wrote:

'_My plans are final and cannot be revised. I'm leaving in the morning and as fortune would have it, she works the morning shift. I've boxed and labeled all my possessions that have monetary value and I will leave them in that cesspool she lives in. (I left her an organizational chart and schedule but she refuses to abide by it). I want her to sell them and use the money to advance her career and pay her damned cable bill. If I could, I would leave my heart behind in her gentle care but that is impossible except in fiction.'_

Her apartment was immaculate. She'd dug out his damned organizational chart and schedule and damned if they didn't work! With her shooting schedule and lack of free time, without it she'd be lost and probably in trouble at work but using Sheldon's methods, she found time to memorize lines, block scenes, do her laundry and still have time for herself.

She missed him. She'd left messages and sent texts but he never answered them. He never called back. He never acknowledged her voicemail telling him that she loved him and wanted to be with him, even in Texas, that she would throw it all away to be with him. That had crushed her as much as his leaving her had done.

And then his cell phone number had been disconnected.

Penny threw herself into her work, honing her craft and increasing the ratings for her show, _Damaged Goods_. Her 'love interest' in the show was persistent in trying to have something 'outside of the job, Penny', but she wanted no part of it.

She was so done with meaningless sex and relationships that only existed because of physical intimacy.

She wanted more. She wanted Sheldon.

When Penny fainted during a taping after six weeks on the show, the studio's doctor told her she was losing weight 'far too rapidly' and that the producers wanted to 'cut back' on her schedule, giving her time to rebuild her strength and resume 'healthy eating habits'. He also told her that the studio execs wanted her hale and healthy because 'there were big plans for her' in the works for the fall season.

The networks were calling and her agent agreed with the studio that she needed a vacation – with pay, of course. She was burning the candle at both ends and had pretty much exhausted herself.

Her last day of shooting included a layout for _This Week in Soaps._ She had no idea how fateful those photographs would prove to be.

* * *

Nebraska

It took her a while to get on the plane because of autograph and photo seekers among the tourists. One thing Penny had promised herself – she would always revere her fans and never blow them off because she was 'a celebrity'.

She was having second thoughts when she landed in Omaha and there were family members and fans from her little farming community there to greet her. She wanted to come home again as just 'Penny Drummond' not 'Penny Lane' as the studio renamed her for _Damaged Goods_.

Her mother wanted her dad to take a picture of them 'for the family album' and it suddenly hit her like a ton of bricks – she'd never seen a photograph of Sheldon and never thought to have one taken of them together either as a couple or as a part of the 'group'.

"You look tired, honey, but we'll be home soon and we want to hear all about how you've finally caught up to your dreams. I've got your sister cooking up a storm…"

"I just want to sleep, Momma. I'm so tired…"

Penny slept nearly 18 hours and was totally lost upon waking up. For just a second she thought she was still a teenager living at home and that what she'd lived was merely a dream. She enjoyed that while thinking '_I know what I have to do, what I have to avoid, and I know who the man I want to spend the rest of my life with…'_

He mother's voice brought her to full awareness and she almost cried when reality smothered her_. '…the man I want to spend the rest of my life with…'_ Penny pulled jeans and a t-shirt (one of his, of course) out of her suitcase and walked downstairs to the breakfast table.

Her dad and sister were there and her mother gave her a one-armed hug and gestured to 'sit down' with the frying pan in her right hand.

There was coffee and she added cream and sugar and sipped the hot brew and then leaned back while her mother filled her plate with a country breakfast. Her dad just looked at her with a sort of sad look while her sister jabbered on about _Damaged Goods _and how the digests were all atwitter about her role.

She ate more than she planned to and then drank another cup of coffee. She didn't fit in here anymore. She wasn't sure where she belonged. Maybe that was why so many celebrities did drugs – the feeling of detachment brought calm and serenity when real life was all about the next hit, the next role, the next series.

"So, Penny, how is Leonard handling your new fame? Bet he's proud as can be." He liked Leonard although he wasn't sure if his daughter was just settling. There hadn't been the spark he'd expected between his Slugger and her boyfriend.

"Daddy, Leonard and I haven't been together in a year. He's not the one and if I'm being honest, he never was. Remember me telling you about his roommate?"

"The crazy guy with all the hang-ups? Yeah, so?"

"Last year they went to the Magnetic North Pole on a research expedition and Leonard and his friends sabotaged Sheldon's research and humiliated him. He almost lost his job and Leonard thought it was okay to do that. That was a shitty thing to do and he doesn't even feel guilty about it. Leonard and the guys ruined Sheldon's reputation and it ruined him so he left and went home to Texas."

"Yeah, so? I'm sure you and Leonard – "

"Not going to happen. I'm through with him. He hurt his best friend, my best friend, and I feel so bad for him. Sheldon's cut me out of his life and I miss him, Daddy."

Her mother asked her the one question she'd never asked herself.

"Then why are you here, Penny, instead of in Texas? Sounds to me like he's more than just a friend."

* * *

Texas

Sheldon had just finished his very first day of orientation at the CCC. The facilities were old but clean although he'd already made a mental list of things to 'enhance' his classroom. White boards topped the list. The school still used [gasp] _blackboards, _chalk and erasers. The damage to his sinuses would be cumulative and he couldn't have that.

He pulled the old '68 Ford F150 into the supermarket lot and consulted his iPad for his grocery list. He didn't need a lot but he went through Mountain Dew, toothpaste and Lava Soap like shit through a goose.

Things were fine so far – better than he'd expected. He'd called his mom and was going to eat dinner this evening with her and his brother, Georgie. He told her bluntly that 'God's plan for me sucks and I'm here to make some changes' and then had hung up on her, not wanting to listen to a lecture on archaic dogma that he found scientifically unsupportable and thus akin to fairie tales.

Sheldon was standing in the checkout line and was looking at the magazine racks designed to distract customers from the long wait and prompt a compulsive buy when he saw her picture on the cover of _This Week in Soaps._

It was a picture of his Queen in the arms of another man and the caption read '_**Penny finds love off-screen with her on-screen boyfriend'**_. He never watched TV anymore and he didn't know anything at all about soap operas so like any other double-digit IQ'd member of the buying public, he believed what he saw.

He threw the magazine in his cart and checked out and drove home. It was time to reevaluate his life's plan and seek a final direction.

* * *

Pasadena

Dr. Eric Gabelhauser subscribed to an on-line journal that listed hires, terminations and retirements in Academia. He was always on the lookout for new 'talent' to add to the University's research and faculty roles. At the moment, he was looking for 2 experimental physicists and one astrophysicist to replace in the fall if they failed to retrieve Sheldon Cooper as required. He'd already found someone to replace Wolowitz.

He was so surprised to see Sheldon's name on a listing of 'new hires' at a backwater Texas community college that his spilled his coffee. He was on the phone within seconds telling his secretary to clean up the mess and then get the 'Fab 4' in his office for a meeting. "I don't care what they're doing – this is important!"

He had found his wayward future-Nobel-Prize-winning Particle Physicist and he was going to send out a team to 'extract' him from exile and bring him home where his research into String Theory would further enhance the University's reputation.

He forgot about Sheldon's ethics and his love and respect for contracts.

Each of Sheldon's 'friends' and Leslie Winkle received identical text messages: _'__**Dr. G's office – now!'**_

* * *

_**So, reviews? Meh. Suggestions needed for punishment of the Fab 4 as well as poll entries. At this point it can go either way.**_

_**Next chapter brings the Fab 4 to Texas and it ain't purty.**_

_**Reparata**_


	5. Doubts, Delays & Discoveries

Before anyone has an aneurysm, this is NOT a Sheldon/OFC fic. The people have spoken and so far it's way Penny/Sheldon by a landslide and some idiots voted for Sheldon/Alone. Go figure.

Still spinning webs to ensnare you feeble thinkers. LOL.

Still looking for suitable punishments for the betrayers. You folks are just too nice.

Reparata

* * *

Chapter 5 Doubts, Delays & Discovery

Nebraska

Penny felt relaxed and a lot healthier than she had in a long while, ever since Sheldon left her in Pasadena. Her mother's question had burned into her soul and she spent most of her vacation sleeping, swimming, talking with old friends and just sitting on the front porch of their house in an old rocker just vedging out.

But her mom's question was never far from her thoughts. _"Then why are you here, Penny, instead of in Texas?"_

She mentally answered her mom.

_Because I have a career now. I can't just take off and chase him down. Besides, he obviously doesn't feel anything more than deep friendship for me since he never responded to my voicemails when I told him I loved him._

_Hmph! It wasn't much of a friendship if he could cut me out of his life as easily as you trim fat from a steak after grilling. _

_I could call Missy and ask her point-blank if he said anything to her about my voicemails. I think she'd tell me the truth if I asked her. Better to know the truth than to sit around agonizing over a lost love. _

_Yeah, better to know the truth and move on that to sit around hurting myself and my future by making myself sick over him._

Pasadena

Leonard adjusted the aiming point of the new iodine laser and prepared for the test firing. This morning Gabelhauser had been blunt and told them they had another month to 'bring Sheldon Cooper back home' or they would all be looking for work in September.

Leonard had argued that Sheldon probably wasn't miserable enough and that they should wait at least another month before approaching him.

Howard and Raj had backed him up but Leslie Winkle had just sat there as if nothing important was being discussed. Sometimes she was so like Sheldon that he wanted to grab her and shake some sense into her.

Instead, he had invited her to his apartment for dinner and 'discussion'. He was surprised when she accepted and then gave him a list of dietary restrictions that would make a vegan envious.

Hell, if Penny could use 'coffee' as a euphemism for fucking, he, being less direct but just as interested, could use 'discussion' as his own euphemism.

Texas

Sheldon's first day of actual teaching was interesting. First of all, being the 'new kid on the block' even though he had far better credentials, he got the 'Death Hour' for his Introduction to Physical Science class – the hour after lunch when staying awake in a boring lecture was often more difficult that the material being presented. It was a class for non-science majors and a requirement so he got a sample of the 'general population' - meaning students who'd rather have a root canal without anesthetic than take his class.

His other classes were also in the afternoon and that suited him just fine. He had things to do around the spread and he was a morning person after all.

There was one large and annoying fly in his ointment.

His classroom was not exactly his.

The mornings were filled with liberal arts classes and one instructor used the classroom and left the blackboards filled with outlines and notes about American Literature. There were also dire warnings of what would happen if the boards were erased.

"Well! We'll see about that!" He erased the boards and then washed them with a wet towel that he'd brought for just such an occasion. He dried them with another and then wrote 'Dr. Lee Cooper, PhD' at the top of the center blackboard and began writing his own classroom notes and assignments for the students to copy.

The school had only one copy machine so Sheldon would use the blackboards until he could get home and print out his assignment and test schedules for his students. He'd already ordered his own white boards and they should be here any day now.

His first class was a snorer. Admittedly, Introduction to Physical Science was fundamentally boring so about 10 minutes into the class he decided it was time to deviate from the outline.

"Okay, judging by the sound of snoring, y'all find this as boring as I did when I was in this class so here's what we're going to do. You read the textbook and study for the exam and in class we'll examine and make practical applications for what you've read. This crap hasn't changed much in 3,000 years so just read it and learn the formulas and figure out how the things we learn today were actually used 2-3 thousand years ago."

That woke up all the students and there were texts being sent and notes being taken. He had their attention at least, now to get their interest.

"Next time I want each of you to bring in your own personal cantaloupe or honeydew melon. Each of you must have one, preferably two. Write your name on it. It's important. You and your melon are about to embark on a great adventure."

His next class was Introduction to Physics 101 and he felt more comfortable teaching this group than the last. He knew from boring the shit out of Penny that his rambling monologue about Greece in summer 2,000 years ago would kill any enthusiasm so he just talked about Physics, why they should study it and what it would mean to them 'down the road'. His personal anecdotes about his own studies piqued their interest, especially when he told them how old he'd been.

Sheldon stuck fairly closely to the course outline and then gave them reading assignments and he was done for the day.

He fiddled around the house, cleaning the kitchen and then running a load of laundry. Having his own washer and dryer were gifts from the Gods. No more sharing or scheduling his evenings. _No more 8:15 Saturday nights folding laundry and arguing with her._

Sheldon ran out of things to keep his mind off the magazine that was sitting in the middle of the kitchen table. Just looking at the cover, at his Penelope gazing up into the eyes of another, hurt. He was totally putting off reading the article after reading the teaser headline. She looked beautiful but thin and he hoped she wasn't working too hard at her craft. But the look in her eyes…

Sheldon put a kettle on to boil. He was a coward but then everyone knew that about Sheldon Cooper, PhD.

Unlike his alter-ego, Lee was no coward. He sat down and started reading all about Penny's rise to stardom from obscurity and her hinted romance with her love interest from the program.

He believed in grabbing life by the short hairs and forcing it to comply with his will and so he read through the entire article, imagining the worst and finding that the 'truth' was far, far worse. His Penelope was involved with her co-star and there were hints of a future engagement.

He threw the scandal rag away and made his evening cup of tea and started out to the porch but stopped and pulled the magazine from the trash and laid it carefully on the coffee table in the living room on the way out to the porch.

The next morning he hit the hardware store and the lumberyard picking up things he'd need for his class. Since he didn't teach again until the following afternoon, he set about constructing his teaching aid. He had the main beam, the frame and the swivels. He sacrificed a large piece of canvas to the project and then he bolted the entire thing together using lag bolts, tested it, labeled the parts and disassembled it and put it in the bed of the old pickup truck.

He threw together something to eat and then went to bed early.

Nebraska

"Penny, remember what I said, baby, follow your heart. It was wonderful having you back with us and I'm sorry you can't stay longer but I do understand the demands on your time. Remember to eat and exercise and call me anytime day or night if you need to talk."

Penny didn't trust herself to talk so she just hugged the fire out her parents and then boarded her flight. She hadn't called Missy, finding excuse after excuse until finally she didn't have time to go to Texas even if he did want to see her. And now she was going home to Pasadena.

She had plans. First, she planned to find a new apartment to help her banish the memories of him. Then, a new car since every time she started it up and saw the 'check engine' light she heard his voice lecturing her about the need for proper maintenance.

Satisfied, she ordered a double screwdriver and settled back for the long flight to L.A.

Texas

Sheldon parked his truck and walked to his classroom. It was just a little after noon and he wanted to post notes for his Into to Physics class since he'd be really busy with the Physical Science class in the field behind the parking lot.

His notes and formulae for the class were gone, erased by the previous instructor who had written notes, literature quotes, a class and test schedule and her office hours. He didn't see a name.

He shook his head and found the towel he'd washed the boards with the last time and began cleaning the blackboards.

"Just what the Hell do you think you're doing there? I specifically said that the boards weren't to be touched!"

He hadn't seen her when he walked into the room and he figured it was her intention to surprise him, gain the upper hand, and then brow beat him into a concession. That might have worked 3 months ago but not today.

"I don't believe I've had the pleasure of an introduction but I'm Lee Cooper and I need these boards clean for class work and lectures."

"Oh, we all know who the great Dr. Cooper, PhD is, but all those fancy degrees and publications don't entitle you to just bull your way in here and make me waste time day after day recopying my notes."

"I never asked for anything other than a classroom to teach in. Since I don't know who you are, I see no point in continuing this conversation. I have to assemble a war machine in the parking lot for my Physical Science class and I was trying not to waste my students' time by making them wait for me."

"War machine? What on earth…"

"Penny, if you wish to continue this discussion in the parking lot, I can multitask and you can holler and scream and bitch and moan without having everyone in the building hear you – unless you still believe that _louder _ make you _righter?"_

"My name is _not_ Penny. It's – "

"I didn't – aw, shit." He looked down at his feet and she felt a sudden wave of pity for the tall man. Obviously he'd had arguments with someone else and he'd called her 'Penny' and continued on as if it were their usual fiery exchange.

"Look. Do whatever you please with the boards after tomorrow. I've ordered some white boards and you can just move them out of the way for your classes. I really have to get moving…" He'd turned beet red and left.

He left her staring at his retreating back and stamping her little foot on the floor in frustration. _Damn that man! He's the most frustrating and egotistical and…and…UGH!_

She was almost as angry with him as she was with her fiance when he told her via Skype that he'd extended his tour in Afghanistan and he'd be gone another 6 months. Their wedding date would be pushed back another six months because 'he was a professional soldier and it came with the job'.

Curious as to what a 'war machine' was, she put her paperwork in her messenger bag and followed the gangly physicist out of the building and out to a pickup truck that was loaded with lumber and ropes. Her feminine curiosity had been piqued.

_'Who was this Penny person and why did he look so crestfallen when he said her name?'_

"So, Dr. Cooper, I thought you were setting up a 'war machine'? Where is it?"

"I'm setting it up over in the field beside the parking lot. Curious? Hop in and you can watch me recreate 1000 BC and explain the fulcrum and lever as well as well as teach some basic algebra and slip a little physics into their heads when they're not looking."

She hopped in the truck and promptly sat on his hat. He glared at her and she raised up and pulled out his John Deere cap and muttered "Oops" but didn't really seem all that contrite.

"Perhaps you'd like to come out to my place and throw rocks at the house windows? Or maybe cut some of the new fencing I put up just last week?" He glared at her but she knew he wasn't seriously mad, just irritated.

"Whatever happened to dinner and a movie before getting down to serious stuff?" She could dish it out just as well. _My God…I'm flirting with him!_

"It went the way of 'forsaking all others'. I've learned my lessons well, Miss…?"

"Dunn. Delilah Dunn." She held up her left hand and wriggled her ring finger. "Engaged Delilah Dunn."

"Lee Cooper. Pleased to meet you."

"I suppose your wife is home with the kiddies, Dr. Cooper?" He wasn't wearing a wedding ring but then some men didn't.

He glanced at his watch. "Nope. About now she's either doing the Walk of Shame or rolling over for another go round with whomever she's fucking this month. Hard to say."

Now it was her turn to be embarrassed. She could see the pain in his eyes and knew she'd torn a scab off a wound he'd kept covered for a long time.

"Sorry. Wasn't really prying. I'm sorry. So, you're divorcing her?" She just couldn't stop her mouth from running away from her common sense and decorum.

"If you're done digging up the bones of my past, I really have to get this set up…" He raised one eyebrow and looked at her over the top of his sunglasses.

"So this 'Penny' – she's…?" _My God, after all that time…and I can't seem to stop asking questions. _

"Friend. Bat crap crazy girl from across the hall. Wish I'd met her first but I didn't. Big time actress now but I think still a friend. My best friend probably. Haven't heard from her since I moved back. Any more questions, Ms. Dunn?"

"So you and this Penny…were you in a relationship?" Again she couldn't curb her curiosity.

"Just friends and no, not 'with benefits'. Just friends."

He started the truck and drove slowly across the parking lot. Maybe his mother had been right all along. Talking about things sometimes did help.

* * *

Next: More publicity for Penny and Sheldon gets his herd and a part-time job playing piano in a honky tonk bar to help his brother out. He convinces his Physical Science class to enter a 'Pumpkin Chunkin' Contest' to build up their confidence.

It ends up on Discovery and suddenly _he's_ a celebrity.

**Update: I'm off to Georgia to see my guy off the right way. Might be some time before I post again. Sorry but he comes first.**


	6. Change of Seasons

A/N: It's next week that I'm going to Georgia to see my guy off. Sheesh. I got to get a calendar.

* * *

Chapter 6 Change of Seasons

Delilah watched as Lee Cooper bolted together a 'war machine' that she quickly recognized as a very primitive catapult. His movements were almost choreographed and ridiculously efficient and impressive. No wasted motion and no 'Oops' moments.

The students began to filter on to the field in ones and twos and soon he was 'lecturing' about early warfare – the source of almost all human advances.

"Now, this thing is nothing more than a teeter-totter. Think back to your early playground days and bouncing each other up and down and then maybe shifting your weight so that when your end was on the ground, your partner was stuck up there and then, sometimes, you'd slip off and they'd come crashing down on their butts."

That got a laugh out of the 35 students and onlookers who'd seen the activity and came over to watch.

"The balance point is called the fulcrum and we're going to take the teeter-totter concept and move the fulcrum and then let it all come crashing down. You kids always held on. Take a good look at your melons. See any hands? No? Sadly, they won't be able to hang on."

"Now, we're going to modify our teeter-totter and substitute a 'basket' for the seat. Look what we have made here…a whoppin' big teeter-totter. So, who wants to go first? Wait. I almost forgot this was a class. This is a combination of two of the simply machines: the lever and the fulcrum. Some argue the lever is an inclined plane in some stage of motion but we'll ignore that."

He asked questions about things and the kids could easily see how what they'd studied worked in real life settings. For the first time in ages, Sheldon Cooper felt like he was making a difference in people, not things, teaching, not inflating his ego.

He liked the feeling.

"Okay. Instead of sitting on the teeter-totter, you'll pull down simulating gravity. As the end moves down, the other end moves up on the fulcrum or axle. If the force pulling the end down is great enough then the speed of the other end increases. What's this called?"

Answers were shouted out and he was tickled that most of them were correct and one actually used the proper physics term 'angular momentum'.

Soon he had students hanging on the ropes lashed to the short end of the beam and then squatting down, forcing the other end up. On the spur of the moment, he changed his lesson plan.

"Okay, we're going to have a little competition now. We're going to see how far you can hurl your little friend, Melony." There were groans and comments like 'Lame, Doc', but he didn't care. He was enjoying himself immensely. "Pair up into teams but I'd like to see co-ed teams to balance out the weight distribution."

Soon the field was covered with the carcasses of 'Melony', sacrificed in the name of science and a winning team was announced.

"What did we win, Doc?", the guy on the team asked.

"You mean other than the knowledge that you conquered all your fellow classmates? Isn't that enough?"

"Nope." The guy was being a putz and he was dealing Sheldon Cooper for just a few moments and had no clue what was about to happen to him but instead of verbally cutting his stomach open and pulling his innards outwards, he said, "You get to park in my faculty parking spot until we have the next event. Enjoy it while it lasts, for fame and my spot are transient."

There was applause and laughter and the class broke up and went about their business. They'd enjoyed learning and it turned out that Dr. Cooper wasn't the asshole they'd been told to expect.

"Well, Dr. Cooper, I must say I'm impressed. I think they understood the material and got a kick out of learning it at the same time. Bravo." Delilah had the same expectations as his students and was just as surprised.

"When you understand the laws of physics, you understand everything."

Impulsively, for her, she gave him a hug and a kiss on the cheek. "I can't wait for you to meet my fiance, Lee. He's gonna love talking with you. You both have the science thing going for you." She blushed and then hurried back to her car.

Several edited versions of his outdoor 'lesson' were posted on YouTube and became wildly popular.

* * *

Pasadena

Eric Gabelhauser read an email from a retired associate referring him to the video and asking if he was interested in hiring the young PhD in the clip. 'He's a natural-born teacher and his love of Physics is obvious'. The associate was now a headhunter for academia.

Curious and always on the lookout for talent, he opened his browser and clicked on the link in the email and sat back and watched the entire 23-minute clip.

He didn't know whether to laugh or get mad. 'Lee Cooper' was obviously Sheldon L. Cooper, PhD and royal pain in the ass.

He watched several other clips of the same event from different angles and paid attention to what images he could see of Sheldon's face. He looked different. He dressed differently and he sounded…human.

"Damn, Cooper, there's a real human being inside you just trying to break out. Imagine that?"

He was now more determined than ever to have his wayward genius back under his thumb. He could almost taste the performance bonus he'd get when Cooper won the Nobel Prize and he'd already mentally spent the money.

He summoned the idiots to his office and laid down the law: get Cooper back or join the others in the unemployment line.

* * *

Leonard and Leslie spent a lot of time together and they had a lot of sex. Leonard didn't know what to make of the changes in Leslie that he saw since that first night of 'discussion' but he liked them. While not formally a couple, between working together most days and spending most evenings and weekends together, they'd ended up in a relationship of sorts.

At least Leonard Hofstadter considered it a relationship. He had no idea what Leslie considered them to be and every attempt at defining it was deflected by her.

"Why do we have to label what we have? We have great sex, stimulating intellectual conversations, we have our work and we have time together. And the sex, of course, is beneficial." She considered it 'friends with benefits' and wanted nothing more.

As their deadline grew closer so did the frenetic tempo of their sex until it was almost brutal and while she enjoyed 'taking the edge off', poor Leonard thought it was something more.

When Gabelhauser told them they were out of time and they'd be unemployed if Cooper wasn't back in his office within two weeks, the guys panicked but Leslie took over and organized and extraction mission.

* * *

When Penny went back to work, her co-star approached her and started in where he'd left off. Penny held him at arms' length until he finally came clean.

"Penny, please don't freak out but I need us to appear to be in a relationship. My career's on the line here and I hate using people but…"

"But what? C'mon, Sean, spit it out." She liked Sean Temple but didn't have any inclination to be more than friends with any man. Her heart wasn't in it. It was in Texas.

"I'm gay, okay, and I got a boyfriend but I can't take him to parties or 'dates' like we're expected to do, y'know for the publicity and ratings. And if word got out that I was gay…I'd be off the show because I'd 'damage' my character's 'credibility'."

Penny breathed a sigh of relief. "Sweetie, I'm flattered and I understand what you mean about 'credibility'. It's not homophobia it's because the women who watch the show fantasize about us and a gay guy just doesn't melt their butter. Of course I'll do it."

And so Penny and Sean began a purely platonic sham relationship that thrilled the NBS producers since they were the hottest couple in daytime TV. The tabloids had field days by publishing photos of them hugging, holding hands at events, going shopping together and, of course, Penny 'slipping' out of Sean's apartment early in the morning.

No one suspected that she slept in the guest bedroom or that when they 'disappeared' for a weekend she went one way and Sean and his boyfriend went another. It worked out well for everyone involved.

Except for the guy who lived in a small East Texas farming and ranching community. He learned all about her boyfriend and their budding romance (including photos) at the checkout line at the supermarket.

* * *

Texas

Today was the big day. The cattle broker delivered Sheldon's Santa Gertrudis cows and his registered Long Horn and Santa Gertrudis bulls. The Long Horn cows would be along in a month or so.

Sheldon and his brother herded the tiny seed cattle herd into the pasture set aside for the cows and then drove their 4-wheelers back to pick up the bulls.

"Dr. Cooper, are you absolutely sure this is the bull you want? I mean, sure, he's got the blood lines and he's young and still growing but he's meaner than shit on a good day and today ain't one of them."

The cattle trailer was swaying back and forth as the Long Horn bull bellowed in rage at being cooped up while the Santa Gertrudis bull just chilled, not seeing any reason to get riled up. He could smell the cows and at least one of them was in season. His mind was definitely elsewhere.

"Yeah. We'll keep the two big boys in separate pastures if the Long Horn's agitated. Give him time to get used to his new home before I start breeding him."

"Well, it's your funeral. Looky here, it took four of us to get him in the damned trailer. How are just two of you going to get him out?"

"Uh, _one of you_. Lee, I'm too young to be a hood ornament and you promised me you'd do the bars with me to pay off the truck. I can't do that if I'm gored and mounted. And you…"

"My queen once told me about the rodeo's two-pronged philosophy for handling bulls – you WHAM 'em. Win their Heart And Minds."

"Doc, that's the craziest thing I ever heard. That's 900 pounds of pissed off cow in there and…" then he delivered his _bazinga…_

"The other part of the philosophy is equally simple: Grab them by the balls and their hearts and minds follow."

That set the broker into fits of laughter and Georgie pounded him on the back when it sounded like he was choking.

"We'll hook up his hind legs to the four-wheelers and drag his butt to the pasture. Georgie, maybe we should think about getting horses instead of these noisy gas hogs?"

"What you mean, Lee, _we_? This bovine bordello you're planning on is your idea."

"Bovine Bordello? Oh, I'm impressed, Georgie. Did someone suggest that or did you see it in a movie?"

It turned out that Sheldon was right. He and his brother had no trouble pulling the bull out of the trailer by his hind legs but once out, it all went to shit in a hurry.

Georgie's 4-wheeler stalled and Sheldon was so intent on keeping tension on the rope that he didn't see the bull turn on his tormentors, drop his head and charge.

The broker and George climbed on top of the cattle trailer but Sheldon was last seen heading for the pasture with a pissed-off Texas Long Horn bull in hot pursuit.

The two older men climbed down from the trailer roof and George got his 4-wheeler started and took off following his little brother's trail through a Sweet Gum thicket, down a grassy slope and then through some nasty briars. It stopped at the edge of a marsh where the two used to throw bread (and rocks) at the migrating ducks and geese.

Sheldon's 4-wheeler was on its side in about 2 feet of water and his little brother was standing in 3 feet of marsh water tugging on the halter lead and cussing up a storm while trying to get the damned bull out of the marsh before it got totally mired in deep. His language made George stop and wonder whatever happened to 'Sheldon' who thought profanity was the sign of a 'weak mind'.

They finally got the bull out of the water and it had calmed down and became almost docile. Sheldon led the bull on foot up to the pasture fence gate and led him in.

"Get your ass in there, Conqueror, before I get Granddaddy's pistol and put you in an early grave. Lord knows what kind of bacteria and parasitical organisms lurk in that nasty marsh you dumped me in. If I get so much as a pimple, your ass is steak!"

* * *

Penny was over at Sean's apartment making dinner with him when Sean's boyfriend came in and started telling them about some 'hick from the sticks' college professor who was a hit on YouTube.

"This guy is so cool the way he can turn a subject like Physics into something even a non-nerd like me can understand and enjoy. He's not bad looking either if you like the tall lanky look."

After they ate and cleaned up, they watched the video on Sean's big monitor. Sean found it easily enough. There were already more than 280 thousand hits and it was only a month old.

The sound quality sucked but Penny wasn't listening. Her entire being was focused on the face of her whack-a-doodle Moon Pie and his body. Her Sheldon would never have worn such clothes. He had changed and she wasn't sure if she knew this version of Sheldon Cooper.

"Penny, why are you crying?" Sean was immediately concerned about his friend.

"That's him. That's the guy I love. That's Moon Pie."

"_He's_ the whack job who blew you off? What is he, gay?"

"No. He's just - Sheldon," she said in a small voice choked with tears.

"Oh, girlfriend, this is _so_ wrong. Look, we've got a break coming up in the schedule over Labor Day so you and I are going on a road trip to find this guy and get you two together. I can't _bear_ seeing you so sad, Penny. We'll all go, the _three_ of us, and we'll drag him back here where he belongs so you can have your wicked way with him and be as happy as we are."

"No. He's where he belongs. He's home in Texas. Besides, how would it look to the fans? We're practically engaged and what about the show? Your career?"

"Honey, I can always get another job but you won't find another Moon Pie. No, our minds are made up. In two weeks we're going to Texas!"


	7. The Piano Man

Went fishing, got sun burned. Had fun. Looking forward to the long weekend. Last update for a while.

A review or two might be nice. BTW, there are 179 of you loyal readers. Thanks.

Reparata

* * *

Piano Man

Raj had called Missy Cooper for information on Sheldon. He explained that they had two weeks to persuade her brother to return to Pasadena or 'we will all be on the street looking for work in diners and restaurants, sleeping in boxes in alley ways and eating nasty bits irregularly out of dumpsters'.

She wouldn't say anything specific but she did say that on Friday and Saturday nights he was a 'regular' at the Library Lounge just outside of town.

This surprised Raj since the Sheldon he knew had an alcoholic tolerance of zero and had once mooned a faculty gathering while reading a scientific paper. He'd had one drink to loosen up and he'd loosened his belt and almost lost his job (again).

"You three tools best not fuck with my brother, Rajeesh Koothrapalli, or there'll be all kinds of hell to pay! If you're coming next weekend you need to get 'er done Friday because we've got a big party out at the Ranch planned and you three are definitely not invited."

* * *

Friday before Labor Day

The Fab 4 flew into Houston International, rented a car and then found a hotel and unpacked. It was HOT, damned hot, in Texas and Raj peeled off several layers of sweater vests and even Howard nixed the faux turtleneck dickey for an open-necked shirt. Leslie wore a t-shirt dress that ended a few inches south of her crotch and sandals. Howard had stared at her ass for a while trying to figure out if she was wearing a thong or nothing at all...

The scientists followed Missy's directions to the Library Lounge. The parking lot was full and a lighted portable sign read 'Fri & Sat Nite – The Cooper Bros'.

Leonard squinted at the sign and then tried to control the 'encounter', as usual.

"Well, this looks like the place. Now remember, we're just here to talk and appraise the situation. Once we get back to the motel we'll have a better idea of the challenges we face and what we need to do."

Leslie tuned him out. She had her own agenda and she'd use these three self-serving dickheads to fulfill it.

_God, Leonard definitely has the 'little man' complex going full blast. I wonder what I ever thought I saw in him? Is it because he's the antithesis of what I had and threw away? Is it because he's 'Anti-Sheldon'?_

Leslie went down her comparative list:

_Short vs Tall, Check _

_Insecure vs Damnably Confident, Check_

_ Stubby vs Endowed in the 'equipment department', Check_

_ Submissive vs Dominant, Check_

_ Conciliatory vs Argumentative, Check._

_Yep, definitely the Anti-Sheldon_.

The bar was full and the scientists were surprised at the packed crowd. The dance floor was filled with people and the tables and bar looked pretty full, too.

"Well, now we know where all the hicks are on Friday nights. Be a damned shame if something in orbit landed smack on this place. Probably raise the collective IQ of Texas by 10 percentage points." Leonard looked over at Howard with that damnable smirk on his face.

Leonard hated these people who seemed so oblivious to important things. He doubted that the entire place contained more than a handful of high school graduates, figuring that most would have GEDs or no education at all after the 8th grade. He was the epitome of the self-proclaimed elite 'thinkers' of the country.

Raj and Howard took drink orders and wedged their way into the crowd. Howard told the bartender that they were here to see their friend, Sheldon, but he just looked at them in confusion for a moment but then smiled.

"Oh, you mean _Lee _Cooper? Hell, no one calls him 'Sheldon' anymore. Friends of his are friends of mine and the first drink is on the house. They're about to do their thing so find a place to sit. There's a table near the front where the band takes their breaks. Sit there. I'll have your drinks brought out to you."

Backstage

Sheldon was only doing this because his brother was in hock to the finance company on his truck and wouldn't take money from him to pay it off. He really didn't mind playing in small bars but this place was different. It was frikkin' huge.

"Nervous?" his brother asked him. He was nervous so he figured Shelly, no, _Lee_, was probably terrified although after that crap with the bull he wasn't quite sure that this version of Sheldon was afraid of anything.

"Nope. But I've had some experience in public speaking lately so I figure I'll be all right. We did okay last time around. This pays more."

If he ever ran into Queen P he'd be sure and thank her for her help in working before large crowds. Her acting class exercises had helped him overcome most but not all of his stage fright. His palms still sweat like a cold beer in the July sun.

"You should have let me sell Granddaddy's Gibson." George was already sweating like a pig from fear rather than the hot lights on stage. Sheldon figured he'd need a towel to mop up the sweat.

"No! It belongs in the family not in some pawnshop. Let's get this over with. I rode the bike and it looks like rain. And take it easy on the booze, Georgie. I know it's free but I'm not bailing you out of another DUI."

The crowd quieted down when the bartender (using a bullhorn for God's sake) introduced the Cooper Brothers. Sheldon and George Jr stepped out from behind stacks of empty beer cases and the crowd began to applaud.

* * *

On Stage

Sheldon sat down at the old upright piano, flipping up imaginary tails of a tuxedo like a concert pianist even though he wore jeans and a work shirt and his boots. George sat on a tall bar stool, a harmonica rigged around his neck and his granddaddy's Gibson around his neck on a strap and a microphone on a stand in front of him. He took a healthy pull from a bottle of beer on a makeshift table beside him and nodded to his brother.

"Let 'er rip, Lee." The microphone picked up his words and a tangible rustle of anticipation stilled the crowd. The guys looked at each other in confusion while Leslie waited. She'd been here before…not _here_, but in the same situation years before.

There's a soft rippling of the opening bars of Billy Joel's _Piano Man_ and the crowd stills and quiets. A large section of the tables nearest the band are filled with Cooper's students and they are enthusiastic and plastered since the summer session had ended that day.

_It's nine o'clock on a Saturday, the regular crowd shuffles in  
_  
Sheldon sang the opening bars, getting a feel for the acoustics and the microphone. He leaned closer to the mic and almost gagged. Billy Joel knew what he was talking about.

Raj guzzled his beer and asked, "Is this country music? Where are the 'yee-haws' and 'rebelious yellings' I've heard about? What about the pickup trucks and the dying dogs, and the trailer trash hoes? For goodness sakes, this is _Billy Joel! _and Sheldon sounds just like him."

Winkle shushed him and pointed to the stage where Sheldon had finally noticed the 4-some at his table. There was ice in his glare when he saw them and the notes faltered for a second as the shock registered and then fell away as he improvised new lyrics. Sheldon was a gifted mimic and could sound like almost anyone he wanted to.

_There're new faces sitting at my table I see  
__But faces I remember quite well  
__I remember the insults,  
__the betrayal and the results  
__And they're why I'm sitting in Hell_

Sheldon's fingers flew over the piano keys and sang the chorus.

La la la de de da  
_la la de de da da dum_

_Sing us a song, you're the Loser Man  
__sing us a song tonight  
__Well, we're all in the mood for a melody  
__And you've got us feelin' alright_

Sheldon began a new stanza never before heard. He hoped Billy Joel would forgive him for his tinkering.

_The pretty burnette was the love of my life  
__With whom I exchanged wedding vows  
_'_Til I found her in bed  
__With our Department Head  
_My dearest wife…

Sheldon stopped playing for just a moment and then continued on with the original Billy Joel song and the crowd quickly joined in as if in support, holding their drinks over their heads and swaying in time with the music. When he finished there was loud and long applause and his brother asked if he was okay.

"We can call it a night, Lee. There's no reason you have to – "

"I'm fine, Georgie. Sweet Home Alabama, Rocky Top, Tomorrow, Yellow Rose of Texas, the 'Who Are You' thing you seem to like and then you can wow them with your Charlie Daniels fiddlin' with the Devil."

The house band had taken up their instruments and were ready to back them up through the remainder of the set. Sheldon left the piano and grabbed a Fender Bass and slipped the strap around his shoulder.

They finished their single long set and the four scientists from Pasadena waited for Sheldon to join them and when he didn't, Leslie went in search of him. If nothing else, they could put an end to this ridiculous war between them.

_This _Sheldon was more like the one she'd married and less like the OCD maniac everyone knew – the one she'd helped create.

Her attorney had him served with Divorce Papers but he either threw them away or just filed them. He refused to give her a divorce. He'd given his word, his vow, he said, and he wouldn't give her a divorce. He built walls of dysfunctional behavioral mechanics around himself to protect him and focused his abilities on his work. He never once faltered over the years – until now.

For seven years they just circled one another like some undiscovered sub-atomic particles, maintaining a healthy distance but unable to escape the gravity pull of the other. She was cruel to him; he responded with feeble parries, not wanting to hurt but feeling an obligation to try. He could never be cruel although sometimes his arrogance came across that way to others.

"You guys hang around and drink and do whatever it is you do in a bar but try not to alienate the locals. We may need their help later, and I don't think a lynching is conducive to our project."

* * *

Leslie went up onto the stage and then wandered behind the stacks of empty beer cases and kegs and found her brother-in-law leaning against the door and smoking a cigarette behind the building.

"Still sucking down the cancer sticks, Georgie?" The two in-laws had reached an accommodation early on in her marriage: he quit bullying Sheldon and she quit kicking his ass for it. It was awkward but it worked for them.

"Hello, Les. Sure surprised the boy - you showin' up like that. Thought he was going to bolt for a second but he's changed. I suppose that's your fault? You and those geeks you came in with? Which one are you banging now?"

"The short one with glasses. Look, I came back for him. He doesn't belong here. I came to take him back home where he belongs so he can get back to work on his damned Nobel Prize."

"Don't, Les. He's happy here. He finally fits in. He's working Meemaw's ranch like it should have been, and he's teaching at the 3C's and he likes doin' it. Leave him be, Les. Go back to your Ivory Tower and your hollow relationships and let the boy alone."

"Give me one of those nasty cigs and I'll tell you all about the Sheldon Lee Cooper you don't know. Where is he, by the way?"

"He went home. Gonna rain and he rode his bike here. We're done for the night and don't need to be back here until tomorrow."

Winkle had a sudden image of Sheldon pumping a 10-speed bicycle around the countryside in this heat, his shirt tied around his waist and sweat dripping down his body. She shivered and felt an urge to go find him and drag him back to the motel and fuck him senseless.

"He rides a bicycle in this heat? Is he crazy? No, wait, it's _Sheldon_ we're talking about. Of course he does."

"Fixed up Granddaddy's '53 Indian Scout and uses it or that old pickup if it rains. He's had to change, adapt, and I'm proud of how he's settled in. He's happy, Leslie, for the first time in his life and now you're gonna try and take that away from him, too? Why? He behind on his alimony or something?"

"He never signed the papers and I just never got around to going back to court to get divorced over his objections. We're still legally husband and wife so I came with his friends to take him back home."

"Good luck with that. He's got a life now and he's trying his damnedest not to screw it up by doing whatever he did that made you sleep with half the faculty. Don't hurt him again, Leslie Winkle Cooper. Get a divorce and let the boy move on."

"I may just have to, if only to justify what I'm going to have to do to keep my job. Don't tell him we talked. I'll see you around, Georgie. Don't let him lose himself again. He's a real pain in the ass when he does."

* * *

Winkle rejoined her fellow scientists but refused to respond to their questions and pointed stares. A short well-dressed woman approached the table and asked if they were 'the scientists from Pasadena' in a pleasant voice.

Howard leered at her and made his usual lame pickup attempt. The woman smiled sweetly at Howard and told him that if he even _breathed _at her, she'd get her boyfriend, gesturing to a tall mean looking man with a buzz cut, to 'fuck him up'. To make her point, Delilah Dunn grabbed Howard's beer and dumped it in his lap.

Before any of the others could react, she dumped the other guys' drinks either over their heads or into their laps. She grabbed Leslie's beer and took a huge mouthful and spit it in her face.

"You – you whore! You stay away from Lee. He is a good man and doesn't deserve to be ridiculed by the likes of you. Leave him alone!"

There was a lull in the general racket and then Sheldon's students started to get rowdy and throw beer bottle caps (and the occasional not-always-empty red solo cup) and peanuts at the visitors until finally the bartender told the Californians to 'hit the road before it gets ugly'.

Leonard started to protest but Winkle cut him off.

"Sheldon's gone back to his ranch. We're done here. It's time to go home," Leslie said as she wiped the spittle and beer from her face.

The drive back to the motel was awkward. Leslie refused to say a word about any relationship she might or might not have had with Sheldon Cooper. She needed to get back to Pasadena and start working on keeping her job.

'_These losers are never going to get Sheldon Cooper back to Pasadena if the woman in the bar was his and not some groupie.'_


	8. Poll Results

**Not an update, just the results of the poll.**

* * *

**The story is unfolding and I have no idea where it's going but maybe you do. Select the direction or live with how it turns out.**

1. Sheldon/Penny 24 » 66%

2. Sheldon/Leslie 8 » 22%

3. Sheldon/Other Female Character

3 » 8%

4. Sheldon/No One 1 » 2%

Unique Voters: 36

These are the poll results.

The poll is closed.

Thanks for participating.

Reparata


	9. Confrontation & a Kiss

Long chapter setting up final chapter(s). Sorry for the length.

* * *

Chapter 8 – The confrontation

Friday Night

Sheldon was just rounding the curve to turn off the country road and onto his ½ mile gravel track that led to the ranch when the rain hit. It had smelled like rain all day and finally the heat was about to be broken by a downpour.

He was soaked by the time he pulled the gray primer- colored motorcycle into the shed but he didn't notice. His mind was sifting through all the crap from Pasadena he hadn't unpacked yet, trying to remember where he'd left them.

He stripped off his sodden clothes and stepped into the shower and rubbed himself nearly raw with the Lava soap he'd begun to use. 'Old' Sheldon would have gone through several cases of Purelle by now but Lee Cooper didn't mind honest dirt but being in the same room with his former friends…left him feeling filthy.

His 'Aha!' moment came while he was towel-drying his hair. He needed to get a haircut soon or he'd look like a 60s hippie but that wasn't his moment.

He remembered where he filed the damned divorce papers. He pulled on dry jeans and a chambray work shirt, dry boots and a rain slicker and grabbed the truck keys and drove to the town's only motel.

* * *

Motel

Leslie was hurriedly throwing Leonard's things into his carryall. He was talking with Howard and Raj and she wanted to get this over and done with.

She was through with Leonard. What they had, what he thought they had, was a shadow compared to what she'd thrown away. Seeing Sheldon in all his former glory had brought it all back with a vengeance.

Their 'thing' (she refused to call it a relationship despite Leonard's logical arguments) was proof that two people in the same space did not equate to 'togetherness' and that was what she had been missing since Sheldon had walked into their bedroom and caught her riding their boss's cock while he pawed at her breasts.

'I'll be done here in a minute, Sheldon, and then we need to talk.'

It had been the only thing she could think of to say at the moment.

Her reverie ended when someone knocked loudly and repetitively at her motel room door. At first she thought it was Leonard but then she heard –

_Knock – knock – knock _"Winkle!" and knew it was Sheldon Cooper, come to exact his own brand of revenge after all these years. She opened the door and motioned him in.

"C'mon in, Moon Pie."

"Don't call me that. Here. I signed them." He thrust a tattered manila Kraft envelope against her bare breasts and then spun on his heel and walked out into the rain.

She wrote Leonard a note on the motel's stationery (Thanks for staying at the No Tell Motel), stuffed it into his carryall and tossed the bag out onto the cement in front of the boys' room. He could sleep with them or in the car but he damned sure wasn't sleeping with her.

She mercilessly crushed the heartache she felt. Sheldon hadn't even noticed that she'd been naked. She wasn't going to try to seduce him. She'd just gotten soaked in the sudden rain while walking to the car in the bar parking lot and had hung up the dress to dry.

* * *

Leonard spent the night on the floor in the guys' room since Leslie locked him out. The next morning the group was going to meet for breakfast, plan their attack and then drive out to Sheldon's 'ranch' and get him to come home.

It didn't quite work out that way. Leslie Winkle had checked out of the motel earlier and taken a cab to the airport. She had clutched a ragged Kraft envelope to her chest and only allowed herself to cry once she'd boarded the plane for Los Angeles.

Winkle had been 'nice' to Leonard and left his bags in front of the room door with a note telling him not to bother calling her. Their little 'thing' was over and done with. _His_ little thing just wasn't getting it done for her anymore. She just couldn't resist being the scorpion one last time.

Her absence was the main topic of conversation at the round breakfast table. None of them could believe that Winkle and Sheldon had been married but Raj believed it. He also knew that her betrayal had destroyed Sheldon and the man they knew was just the protective shell around what was left of whom he'd once been.

When they falsified his data at the Magnetic North Pole, they'd unwittingly driven him over the edge but now he was rebuilding himself as Lee Cooper and Raj was okay with that. He sent a prayer of thanks to the Goddess Kali of Destruction because from destruction frequently came rebirth and renewal.

Raj didn't think he could face Sheldon after what he'd done so he excused himself and told the group he would see them at the airport. He wanted no part in their exercise. "If Sheldon is happy, I'm happy. Let him alone. Let him have his happiness. We must face the music, embrace our guilt and take our punishments like men."

Wolowitz agreed with Raj in principle but wanted to hang on to the sweet ride he had at CalTech so he agreed to accompany Leonard when he confronted Sheldon. He would need the help.

* * *

Penny and Sean and his boyfriend, Robin, were checking into the same motel while Howard and Leonard were eating breakfast a few miles away. After all, it was the only hotel in miles.

Penny had finally broken down and called Missy Friday evening, blurted out her entire tale of woe and blubbered so badly that Missy finally told her to 'shut up and listen'.

"The reason he don't know how you feel about him is 'cause he never listened to any voicemails. He swapped phones and had them purged so don't think he doesn't feel for you, Penny Drummond. He has every one of the This Week in Soaps on his damned coffee table and he thinks you and your boytoy are getting hitched. He gets his news from the checkout tabloids so can you blame him for feeling like he does?"

"Boytoy? Sean?" She started laughing and handed the phone to Sean. "Here…it's Sheldon's sister, Missy. Talk to her. I need to…" and she ran to the bathroom.

"Hi, this is Sean and Penny's in the john. So, tell me all about this Sheldon guy and how we get there. The three of us will fly out as soon as we can get a flight."

"Three?"

"Yeah. Penny, me and my boyfriend. Penny says I can trust you so…"

"I want a picture of you and me for my Face Book page. Wow…me and Sean Temple…"

"How do we get there?" He was getting impatient with the gushing woman on the other end of the conversation. Time was slipping by.

"Wait! BOYFRIEND?" Then in a little girl's voice full of disappointment, she muttered, "Oh…how sad…another one lost to the Dark Side. Obi Wan hit that nail on the head…"

The three caught the first plane they could to Houston and then rented a car and drove down to what Robin referred to as 'He Man' country and what Sean mumbled under his breath as 'BFE'.

* * *

They checked into the No Tell Motel and the desk clerked took one look at the registration and laughed.

"Is there a convention here of Pasadena people? We had one check out this morning and a Hindu-looking fella a few minutes ago. The other two are headed out to the old Cooper place. Are you here for the Labor Day party? If it's anything like the 4th of July was, the sheriff's gonna have a full house come morning. That Lee Cooper can sure show people a good time."

"Um, Lee Cooper? Tall, kinda thin and acts like he's got a stick up his ass? Crap-crazy and has a fetish for clean? Is he related to a Sheldon Cooper?" Penny was confused. Sheldon was not a party-goer and never drank after losing his mind and his pants.

"Sheldon? Oh, no one calls him that anymore. The boy gets mite perturbed if people call him 'Sheldon'. But, yep, they be one in the same fella. He teaches out at the 3Cs and him and his brother, George Jr, have a sit-down at the Library Lounge every Friday and Saturday night. You talent scouts or something?"

Sean took the lead. "Yeah. We saw his video on You Tube and heard some of what he does so we're here to talk to him about coming back to L.A. for a while."

"That ain't gonna happen. He just got his long horns the other day. And school starts next week. My daughter goes there and took a class from him this summer. First in our family to graduate high school and go to college." He swelled up with paternal pride.

Penny went to her room to shower and change. Flying always made her feel unclean and she wanted to look her best when she saw Sheldon again. She still had trouble believing that the guy in the video and the guy the clerk talked about were one and the same Sheldon Cooper who wouldn't be caught dead around cows because of flies and germs.

She unpacked and carefully selected what she wanted to wear since it was hot. Tan shorts, a plain white t-shirt and sandals. She debated about a bra but figured it would just be something else to capture the heat so she left it in the drawer.

Penny put on a light coat of lip gloss, some eye shadow and mascara and looked at herself through Sheldon's eyes, seeing her for the first time in almost 5 months.

Okay, she was ready to go.

* * *

Cooper Cattle Co

Sheldon had risen early as was his habit of late, eaten a quick breakfast and then saddled one of the two horses he'd bought at auction. The 4-wheelers were nice but they tended to create tracks that turned into mud when it rained and they were noisy and that made sneaking up on a cow in a thicket difficult.

He was still getting the hang of it. He'd rarely ridden as a kid and never as an adult. Still, his granddaddy's lessons still were fresh in his mind as he tightened the cinch on the saddle and then led it over to the water trough to drink.

Sheldon had planned to ride the entire perimeter of the property line and make sure there were no fresh breaks in the barbed wire fencing. With guests and kids coming for the Labor Day picnic, he wanted the long horn cows kept inside the fencing.

The kids always liked them if the 4th had been any indication but he didn't want a repeat of the 4th. Several of the cows had gotten out of the fence and ambled down and helped themselves to the food.

It had been funny until one of the cows took a liking to his mother and followed her around, trying to get at the fragrant cinnamon apple pie she was carrying. The pie went one way and his mother went the other. He just hoped that didn't make You Tube.

Lee sighed. His mother was a pain in the ass some times but she was his mother so he put up with a lot from her. Missy ran interference and George Jr finally sat her down and explained what had happened in Pasadena and why he'd come home.

* * *

"I don't understand why he just doesn't live here with us instead of out there in the damned wilderness. Why, he doesn't even have air conditioning or cable or internet!" his mother whined.

"He's happy, Momma, and you should be happy for him."

She still nagged but gave up after he attended one church service and stood up in the middle of the sermon and asked the preacher if 'marriage vows are sacred and one of them breaks their vows, do they still apply to the other one?' Mary almost died of embarrassment when the preacher said 'No' and Sheldon had asked him 'Then what good were they in the first place'?"

Her prayer group was extra busy that next Tuesday night.

* * *

Cooper Cattle Ranch  
Home of the Conqueror Breed

That's how the sign read and Leonard maneuvered their rental car onto the gravel track. It was long and bordered by barbed wire fencing on both sides. It seemed to go on forever.

"Leonard, I don't think Sheldon's going to want to leave all this behind. I think we're on a fool's errand. I agree with Raj but I also want to keep my job so you better be at your eloquent best." Howard looked out over the hilly pastures dotted with clumps of trees and suddenly laughed.

"What's so damned funny, Howard? It's not like engineers in this economy are being hounded to come work in private industry."

"I was thinking that the Israelites probably thought the Promised Land would look something like this – minus the barbed wire fencing, of course."

"I don't think those are native to Palestine, Howard." He pointed to a herd of Long Horns grazing near the fence. They suddenly seemed interested in the car that was leaving a cloud of dust behind it despite the evening's rain.

Howard remembered the sign. Home of the Conqueror Breed. "Leonard, you don't think Sheldon's so pissed off at the world that he's breeding killer cows, do you?" The cattle were now loping along the fence, keeping pace with the slow-moving car.

"Don't be ridiculous, Howard. Sheldon would never get close to one of those. Flies, filth, manure…not enough hand sanitizer in the world to get him clean again." Still, Sheldon was a genius and maybe the 'one failed experiment short of a mad scientist' wasn't all that far-fetched.

Leonard accelerated and then topped the hill and caught his breath. It was a ranch house surrounded by cottonwoods and it looked like something out of a cowboy movie. He pulled up in front of the house beside an old Ford pickup and figured Sheldon was home since someone else had to be driving him around. Someone with infinite patience.

They got out and Leonard leaned through an open car window and blew the horn three times and called out "Sheldon?", waited a few seconds and then blew the horn three times again and repeated his friend's name. Even now he still subconsciously mocked Sheldon's OCD issues.

Howard sighed and walked up onto the porch and knocked politely on the door. Sheldon opened the door and smiled at Howard but looked over his should at Leonard and then stepped out onto the porch.

"To what do I owe the honor of your presence, Dr. Hofstadter?" He crossed his arms across his chest and waited impatiently.

Still beside the car, Leonard began to doubt the wisdom of his decision to come out here. The man standing on the porch was not Sheldon Cooper. This man was obviously impatient and upset with his presence.

"Um, well, y'see, Gabelhauser has given us an ultimatum. You have to come back to CalTech or we'll all lose our jobs. Raj and Winkle have given up and gone back to California but Howard and I – "

"Howard, how hard will it be for you to get a gig at the JPL or at Livermore? You know people there. I suggest you contact them and see what you can find. I'm sorry to hear that you'll be unemployed, Howard, but not sorry enough to leave all that I've worked for."

Sheldon squeezed Howard's shoulder and then started back into the house. "See ya, Sheldon. Keep in touch." Howard started back to the car but Leonard wasn't giving up so easily.

"Damn you, Sheldon Cooper, you owe us for putting up with your crazy behavior, your schedules and your damned holier-than-thou-I'm-a-genius-cock-blocking attitude for eight fucking years! You have a moral responsibility to us to come back."

"Sarcasm?" He looked at Howard who shook his head. "Nope. He's serious. Y'know, Winkle left him last night. Jesus, Cooper, Winkle?" Howard was referring to Sheldon being married to Leslie.

"What can I say, Howard? I was young and in love and I thought it would last forever. I kept my vows even after she was unfaithful."

He looked down his nose at Leonard, still standing by the car, and said, "Leonard, you have 30 seconds to get into your car and go away. You betrayed me at the Pole. You knew how important that was to me and you just couldn't put your own needs…bygones, right?"

He put his fingers into his mouth and whistled a series of notes and Howard jumped behind him. "Killer cows! I knew it, Leonard. He's breeding killer cows and going to conquer the world."

Conqueror heard the trilling while grazing through what was left of Sheldon's Meema's vegetable garden and came running. Lee found he was easier to handle if you treated him like a pet and the Long Horn seemed to thrive on the attention.

"Jesus Christ!" Leonard shrieked and jumped in the car as Conqueror trotted around the corner.

"Kill them," Lee chuffed and Howard blanched and ran to the car, his sudden movement attracting the bull's attention. Leonard started the car and pulled out, turning in front of the bull. Howard was crawling in through the open passenger window when the tip of Conqueror's horn accidentally gouged a furrow across his ass. Howard screamed in terror.

"Killer Cows! Killer Cows. I knew it! He's fucking insane. Drive! Drive!" Suddenly the JPL looked pretty attractive to him. Hell, the drive-through at Wendy's looked good.

* * *

Sean Temple turned on to the gravel track from the county highway following Penny's directions. She'd come down with Sheldon for his grandmother's funeral so she knew the way. "He sure lives a long way from civilization, Penny." He was a city boy and this was so far outside of his comfort zone that he was nervous.

"Farms, ranches, they're big and so they are a 'long way' from towns." She saw the sign announcing the Cooper Cattle Company and grinned. The sign was new. _So this is what my Moon Pie's been up to…nice._

"Whoa!" Sean steered the rental off the side of the gravel track and into a ditch just in time to avoid a small car that seemed hell-bent on setting the land speed record for gravel roads speeding by and blowing the horn like mad.

"Everyone okay?" Sean asked after turning off the car. The car was definitely not moving anytime soon since it was mired in mud from the last night's rain.

"Yeah…Jesus, they drive like idiots down here! Was that you boyfriend, Penny? I thought you said he didn't drive?" Robin was trying to climb out the back door of the sedan that sat at a 45 degree angle.

"He doesn't drive. Those were Howard Wolowitz's skin-tight disco jeans hanging out the window. There can't be two of those iridescent pants still in existence. Something must have happened if those two are down here. C'mon, it's only a half mile or so to the house."

Sean and Robin helped Penny climb out of the car and then the three started walking up the gravel track. A pickup truck crested the hill and then drove slowly toward them, almost hesitantly.

"Well, here comes one of the locals. Maybe they have a chain or a cable and can pull us out of the ditch. That idiot never even slowed down!"

Sheldon was worried about his two friends. Leonard wasn't the best driver and Howard's ass was outside the car when Leonard hit 50mph and he was afraid he might find his friend's mangled body in the ditch. Maybe having Conqueror 'attack' wasn't the brightest thing he'd ever done but it was one of the funniest.

_'Best non-verbal Bazinga in a long time.'_

He crested the hill and saw another car in the ditch and slowed, wondering if it was Leonard's but it was a different color and if it was in the ditch that meant an accident and that asshole hadn't even stopped. Fearing it was one of his students, he drove down the track until he saw the three people walking towards the house. Two guys and a blonde.

'Probably students…' A few seconds later and 50 yards closer he focused on the blonde and thought _'Penny?'_

He stopped a few yard from them, not wanting to engulf them in a cloud of dust, turned off the truck and got out.

_Penny!_

Penny watched as Meemaw's old truck approached and she wondered if Georgie was living out here. It made sense since his mother and Sheldon and Georgie were like fire and gasoline so Mary would 'suggest' that Georgie move out to Meemaw's.

The truck slowed and then stopped and the driver got out.

"Sheldon!" Penny sprinted the 4 or 5 yards separating her from Sheldon and leaped into his arms and wrapped her arms around his neck and one leg around his thigh and just hung on, happy to see him.

He was shocked and dismayed when he noticed that one of her companions was her fiance, Sean. He didn't recognize the other man. He peeled Penny's arms from around his neck and regretfully set her on her own feet.

He turned to the man who was going to marry her and said, "Hi, I'm Lee Cooper. You're a lucky man, Sean Temple, a very lucky man. If y'all will get in the truck I'll drive down to your car and see if we can't pull it out of the ditch."

"Thanks, Lee. This is Robin. We're – " but Sheldon cut him off, not wanting to have to spend a second more than he had to with his 'visitors'.

"I don't mean to be rude but I have someplace I have to be tonight and I don't want to be late. I'll get you on your way in no time at all." He had no idea why she was here with her fiance and so he just kept it friendly – and distant.

"Sheldon, we've come all this way to see you. Don't you think you can spare us a few minutes of your valuable time?" Penny was getting aggravated, trying to cover up the hurt and disappointment she felt with irrititation.

He looked at Sean and said, "Sarcasm?" When Sean smiled and nodded, he said, "I'm on a roll. Two for two. Okay, one of you has to ride in the back. Sorry."

He turned and walked back to the truck and got in and waited. He couldn't hear what was being discussed by his latest crew of visitors over the blown muffler on the truck. He really did have a lot to get done before he went to the Library Lounge at 7.

"Penny, he doesn't know who I am, remember? He thinks we're together and getting married. What did you expect him to do, rip off your clothes and make love to you right here in the road? I think the implied threat in his voice proves he has 'feelings' for you. He's just trying to deal with what must be an awkward situation."

"He doesn't care! You saw how he practically pushed me away!" She was almost in tears.

"He thinks you're nothing more than old friends. Did you ever hug him like that before? No. Does he feel uncomfortable that I'm here? Yeah, he does. Talk to him, Penny. That's why we came all this way, wasn't it?"

Robin had stepped away to give them privacy but decided to take the bull by the horns. He walked up to the idling pickup and got in the passenger side and sat back and sighed.

"Y'know, coming here was really hard for her. She's really afraid that she'd made a mistake, Lee. She and Sean are – "

"Look, she's getting married, I get it. I just don't know why she's here. I'm not the same man I was in Pasadena. She's definitely not the same woman I knew. She'd finally realizing her dreams and I'm damned happy for her. That's all I ever wanted for her…to be happy."

"Then make her happy. Go out there and take her in your arms and kiss her senseless. She's come all this way because she loves you and wants…hell, Lee. I'm gay and Sean is my boyfriend. She's his cover, his beard. It's not real. You're the one she wants."

Sheldon turned off the truck and sat back. He saw Penny throw her hands up in the air in frustration, shove Sean away from her and then turn and start walking rapidly back to their disabled car. Sean came up to Sheldon's window, clearly angry.

"Do something, Lee! Don't just sit there. She's probably going to walk back to the motel and go home. If it's one thing I know, it's her Nebraska stubbornness. She thinks this is all a mistake and she's going to head home."

"You two, get in the back." He started the truck and drove slowly down until he was beside Penny. His heart ached when he saw the tears running down her cheeks. He hadn't meant to hurt her.

"Get in the car, Penny. I have a lot to do and you're just making it more difficult for me to keep to my schedule."

"You haven't changed much at all, have you, Shel – Lee. You're still the same unfeeling, uncaring, self-centered child you were when you left me…I meant, left us, the guys and me."

He stopped the truck when he saw she wasn't going to get in and he followed her for few yards, his longer strides bringing him up behind her before she knew it.

He wrapped her in his arms and whispered, "Get in the truck, beloved, before I rip off those shorts and paddle your delectable buttocks until you won't be able to sit at the table tonight."

She elbowed him in the stomach and whirled on him, shoved her finger in his face and yelled, "You wouldn't dare, Sheldon Cooper!"

He grabbed her wrist and squeezed, making her grimace. "Sheldon wouldn't, but Lee Cooper will. Get your ass in the truck, Penelope, before I embarrass you in front of your friends. I mean it. I have a shit load of stuff to do and we need to talk so get – in – the – damned – truck!"

He had never, in all the time she'd known him, used that tone of voice with her and damn but it made her hot. She felt all fluttery between her legs and knew that this version of Cooper was a man who wouldn't hesitate to do exactly what he promised.

"I want something first." They were about 1 inch apart, glaring at each other, each stubborn and demanding, each stubborn and unyielding.

"What?" It was almost a whisper.

"Kiss me, Lee Cooper, right here, right now."

She started to close her eyes when she felt his breath on her face and she parted her lips and sighed when his soft and warm lips caressed hers and she moaned softly when his tongue brushed her lips. "Now will you get in the damned truck?"

A/N: More coming. I just had to get those two together.


	10. Choices Without a Choice

Chapter9

It took them less than 15 minutes to get the rental car out of the ditch. Penny and Sheldon drove back to the house but the two men decided they needed some 'local clothing' for the party Sheldon had invited them all to and were going to go 'shopping'.

Sheldon threw the tow cable into the back of the pickup and stuffed his leather work gloves into his back pocket and turned, only to find Penny flush against his chest, with a big grin on her face.

"I knew it! I just knew there was a cowboy under all those damned layers of shirts and wackiness. Shel – Lee, I mean, sweetie, can I call you 'Sheldon' when we're alone?"

"I prefer 'Lee', Penny, and I probably won't answer you if you call me 'Sheldon'. I – Sheldon is dead and gone. I'm me, Lee, the guy I probably should have been if I hadn't run into someone and married her."

"Married? You're _MARRIED_!" He lacked the social skills to ease Penny into the situation and instead he just dropped his bomb on her without explanation or forewarning.

Penny turned pale and stepped back from him and he saw tears forming in her eyes and knew he'd stepped in a pile of shit of his own making. He could see the anger in her eyes and he wanted to be anywhere but here.

"I signed the divorce papers last night, Penny. I'm free to do what I've wanted to do for five years –pursue the woman I want. I couldn't before. I took my vows very seriously and it's only been the last few weeks that I've come to understand that even though the law says 'you're married', that those vows no long applied."

"All this time, all these years, you never…I mean…who…"

"I got married when I first came to CalTech. I met her there, fell in love, married her and I thought we were happy until I came home early one evening and found her – um – I interrupted her and my department head – _our_ department head – and I left and never went back."

She stepped closer, listening intently, anger forgotten, as she learned just what had happened to make Sheldon, well, Sheldon.

"I was shattered, Penny, and I put the pieces back together haphazardly and I just never bothered correcting things. I liked who I became. No one got close. No one expected more from me than eccentric brilliance."

"Oh, Sheldon…" She stepped closer, almost touching him, sensing that the 'Real Sheldon Cooper' was just as afraid of messing up as she was. "Go on, sweetie. I'm listening."

"I got comfortable with schedules and routines and habits that never betrayed me. My latent OCD that I'd worked so hard to contain for all those years surged and I reveled in it, let it run free and I was safe until..."

"Until what, Sheldon?" She moved closer and laid the palm of her hand on his chest over his heart and felt the strong and steady beat. She let her hand slip up and cup his cheek and she stood on her tiptoes and kissed him, softly and briefly, hoping he knew that he was 'safe' with her. "Until when, Lee?" She'd give him that much for now.

"Until a blonde moved in across the hall and became such an annoying distraction to my safe and ordered life."

"Is that what I am, Sheldon, an 'annoying distraction'?" Maybe she'd fallen in love with a hopeless case, a man too damaged to ever love again. It was like some cheesy romance novel with a brittle and broken ending.

"Not any more. You're more like an 'annoying attraction' now. You're the first one to look past the broken façade and look at me since Leslie."

"Leslie? Leslie, as in 'you're a dumbass', Leslie? Leslie Winkle? You're married to Leslie the Whore Winkle?"

"Separated and I signed the papers, Penny. I just told you that, didn't I? Are you drinking again?"

"Don't! Don't try to distract me with your 'Sheldon Defensive Shields of Annoying Questions'. Answer me! Leslie Winkle?"

"Yes, Penny, Leslie Winkle. She wasn't always like she is now just like I'm not like who I was. I think I broke her somewhere along the way. I don't know how and I never asked. We've never spoken more than a few words since I left. She was comfortable with her new life even if I wasn't. Sleeping with the boss had perks."

"So why wait this long to get a divorce?" It was the burning question. Did he still love his wife, ex-wife, whatever.

"I never break my word, Penny. I write agreements, contracts, binding each to the other. I gave her my word and I never broke it. I finally realized that I was upholding my end of a contact that was no longer valid and so I dug out the divorce papers, signed them, and gave them to her skank ass last night. Oh, by the way, she and Leonard are in a 'relationship', at least until last night." He put 'relationship' in finger quotes.

"So what now?"

"That's up to you, isn't it, Penny? I've explained what happened, why I'm here and I really do have a lot to do but I can knock it out faster with a little help."

"Fine. I'm here to ask you to come back to me, be with me and make a life for us, together. I've got the life I've dreamed about since I was a little girl but it's empty without you to share it with. Sure, Sean and Robin are great friends but I'm living a lie, Lee. I want you back in my life, so I came here to find you."

Sheldon sighed and almost told her 'no' right then and there but stopped himself before he could ruin a 'moment'.

"Penny, I've made a life for myself here and like yours, it's empty without the woman I want to share it with. I've found where I belong, Penny, and I can't leave it any more than I can ask you to leave your dreams behind. I love you, my Queen, and I have since I first saw you. I fought it every step of the way but it was a hopeless fight. I 'lost' the moment I saw you."

He leaned down and wrapped her in his arms and kissed her like he hadn't kissed anyone in eight long years. It was not a gentle kiss like they'd shared before. This was a kiss that made Penny gasp and yield willingly to the invasion of his tongue. All too quickly it was over although she couldn't have said how long it lasted and she whimpered when he broke it off.

"Lee, house, now. I don't want to make love to you for the first time in the damned road!" She was wet and afraid that her red shorts were darkened with the juices of her arousal. Her lips sucked the skin of his neck like a limpet and her hands gripped his ass and she ground her sex into his jean-clan leg.

Somehow they got into the truck although by then his shirt was unbuttoned and out of his jeans and her t-shirt was on the seat beside her. He could barely think. The part of his brain that controlled his sex drive was overwhelmed and offline while hers was totally in control and making short work of his belt and jean buttons. She ripped the zipper down and reached into the slit in his boxers and grabbed him.

"Penny, we can't do this now. Please, Pen – "

She'd always wanted to drive him crazy, make him lose the stick he had up his ass, and this was the perfect opportunity. Somehow she managed to pull his jeans and boxers down enough to expose his engorged cock and she stifled a groan as a wave of lust swept through her. He stopped objecting the moment she took him into her mouth.

* * *

Penny was in the shower and Lee was walking around in just a towel waiting for her to finish. She had wanted to conserve water and shower together but he knew that they'd end up christening the shower and he did have a lot to get done.

The blowjob in the pickup had rendered him speechless and she'd licked her lips after cleaning him off and giggled. It wasn't long until her giggles turned to short bursts of moans and whimpers and finally a long near-scream as he returned the favor and brought her to climax orally in his bed.

Sheldon laughed and shook his head. He'd had more sex in the last two hours than he had in nearly eight years. It had been more than just sex, of course. With Penny, even a kiss was more than 'just' a kiss. Everything about them seemed so much better when they were together.

He walked into the bathroom when he heard the shower stop and he wrapped her in a towel as she stepped out of the shower stall. She smelled like Penny and he wished he could bottle the smell and release it whenever he got lonely.

He dropped his towel and started to step into the shower when Penny remembered his gasp when she'd run her nails over his ass, trying to get more of him into her. She checked out the half-moon red marks and felt bad until she saw the tattoo.

"Sheldon Lee Cooper! Stop and come back here. What's that on your ass, Lee? Is that a tattoo? Is it 'courage'? Are you mocking me?" She'd leaped to a conclusion without any facts but she was hurt that he'd mocked her.

"It's the companion to yours, Penny. I had it done last weekend in Galveston. Took me a month to find a tattoo artist who knew Mandarin. It's the ideograph for – "

"Don't tell me. Let me guess. 'Courage', right? You just had to go and 'correct' the tattoo." She felt hurt and it showed.

Lee wrapped her in a hug and whispered that it wasn't 'Courage' or a correction. It was the companion to hers – 'Crackers'.

When she was done laughing he pushed her away and got in the shower. She pouted for a few minutes and then went and got her clothes from the dryer. She'd soaked the crotch of her red shorts and she took advantage of Lee's washer and dryer. She didn't want to embarrass him.

* * *

Lee saddled the second horse and he and Penny rode the fence line until he noticed the time. He had to change and head out to the Library Lounge before too long and he knew that Penny would want to head for the motel to change into something 'suitably sexy' as she'd mentioned earlier.

She called Sean to get picked up and discovered that they'd gotten lost, found the motel and decided to have some 'alone time' together. She asked Sheldon to drop her off and she'd see him later.

Sheldon dropped her off at the motel and saw that Leonard's rental was still there. Too bad he didn't get to talk with Raj. He really liked the Indian's basic goodness and he knew that he'd already forgiven him for the Pole thing even if he hadn't really voiced it yet.

He drove back to his place, his mind a thousand miles away trying to come up with a compromise that would allow them to be together without sacrificing each other's dream. If she stayed with him here, in this jerkwater community in East Texas, she'd be like a rose left in a vase – beautiful at first but then wilting and dying.

He couldn't live with that. He loved her too much. The realization that there was only one course of action open to him sent him into a dark rage and he pounded his fists on the steering wheel in frustration.

There were no alternatives. He loved her but he was honor-bound to remain here. She needed the bright lights and opportunities to get ahead in Hollywood so he would do the only thing he could.

He'd let her go.


	11. Honky Tonk Heaven

Chapter 10

Penny couldn't see a way out of their predicament. She owed NBS big-time for her career and, one of the things she learned from Sheldon, she felt obligated to see her contract through to the end. Her agent said that a 'buy out' could easily be arranged but she felt a moral obligation, just as Sheldon did to his agreements.

She worried about trying to maintain a long distance relationship, especially given her track record of disasters even when the guy lived in the same _town_.

She loved him and he'd been in love with her on some level for the past 5 years and it was so damned unfair that she finally had her whacko Prince Charming and real life got in the way.

Penny listed all the things that would make her happy returning alone to California and then all the reasons living in Texas with Sheldon would make her happy. This small community was so much like the one she'd escaped from that it would almost be like coming home. That one was both a plus and a minus.

She has a career that has no place to go but up. There is talk of a Lifetime movie and maybe a dramatic series in prime time. She has more money in the bank than she can spend. She has professional friends and acquaintances and, if she's honest, she craves the limelight and celebrity. It turns out that her ego is pretty damned big, too, just like her batshit crazy science lover's.

And there was always the possibility that Mr. Right is out there somewhere just waiting to meet her.

_That list is pretty damned shallow. And besides, Mr. Right just dropped me off in an old Ford 150 that needs a muffler._

She has her own 'Eureka Moment' and calls her agent, uncaring that it's Saturday or that she probably has things to do.

"Penny, this better be good. I'm having dinner with – "

"It's good. Listen, you have a choice: make something happen or lose 10% of my paycheck. That's not a threat, Doreen, just a statement of fact. This is what I need you to do…"

She snapped her cell phone shut with a very uncharacteristic snarl and tossed it on her bed. She went over to the list and wrote 'Get a new Agent' on the California side. Well, it had been a long shot.

She was getting dressed for the evening when Sean called. Robin had eaten something of the local cuisine and was 'getting rid of it and everything else in his digestive tract. What the hell do they put in their chili down here?' She laughed and then apologized. He told her 'take the wheels but don't end up in a ditch'.

Penny turned into the Library Lounge parking lot just as her cell hummed an incoming text message. She parks near the front and looks at the text.

_**Done. We meet Thursday with lawyers and studio. Anticipate ugliness. Wear something distracting, maybe let a nipple slip? **_

Doreen Goldfarb was an old bat with the instincts of a Great White. She smelled blood (money) in the water and had struck hard. Unless the blonde blew it, they were both going to be rolling in dough.

Penny laughed at the old lady's comment. She'd been around Hollywood since before there were casting couches and she'd taken Penny on as a 'charity case' but had done her best to line up auditions and the like. She genuinely liked her clients and that meant that the 'porn auditions' never happened to her.

* * *

Library Lounge  
Saturday evening

She's early but doesn't care. She loves places like this where people are real and not phony, where, except for trying to score with a lady or catch some guy's eye, there're no ulterior motives for how they act. Real people having real fun and living real lives.

Penny sits at the bar and orders a draft beer. The mug is cold, frosty even, and the bite of the cold beer in the back of her throat brings a smile to her face with old memories.

Hansen's garage, stealing beer out of Joey Hansen's dad's garage refrigerator and sneaking out behind the tool shed and drinking her first beer. It tasted horrible but she drank it anyway. Joey got to second base that night. She smiles at the memory and the bartender eases over. She can tell he wants to talk.

"We don't get many TV stars in here, Miss Penny." He's twitching and she just smiles. He wants an autograph or maybe a picture to hang on the bar wall.

"Just Penny tonight. I'm here for Lee Cooper. Going to catch the show then dance and have a good time. It's been a long time since I've done anything this – nice."

He frowned for a second and then shrugged his shoulders. "My wife loves your show. Would you mind autographing a napkin for her?" He shoves over a round Heineken cardboard coaster and flips it over.

"Sure. What's her name?"

"Vera. Her name's Vera." Penny writes that Vera is lucky to have a guy like – "What's your name?" she asks, wanting to personalize the autograph as much as she can. Penny finishes the note and signs her name and pushes it back.

"Thanks! This will make her day. I appreciate it." Another thing she liked about small towns in flyover country, the people didn't know not to say 'thank you' and not mean it. She added another reason to stay away from Hollywood. 'Lack of sincerity'.

"Well, pretty lady, I see you're slumming." George Cooper Jr. whispered in Penny's ear. She let out a little shriek and then turned and hugged the man who whispered in her ear.

They'd met at Meemaw's funeral and had taken an immediate liking to each other. George liked her because she was good with Sheldon and she liked him because he was Sheldon's brother.

"Lee will here anytime now. He's never late. So, you two are…what, boyfriend and girlfriend finally or still floating around unable to figure out how to do what you both want to do? He's happy here but he'd be a helluva lot happier with a good woman keeping him straight."

"That's more than I heard you say at one time in the week we were here, Georgie. How have you been?"

"Better since Shel – um, Lee – came home. I never realized how much I needed to be a big brother to him until he showed up out of the blue and announced he was home for good. Won't say a thing about what happened back there but it hurt him down to the bone, Penny. He was getting better until _she_ showed up with the Three Stooges."

"He signed the divorce papers, Georgie, and he's gonna be just fine, you'll see. I like this new Sheldon even if I have to call him 'Lee' before he'll talk to me. I came to ask him to come back to California with me, to be with me, but I can see that's not gonna happen. I won't take this away from him. I love him too much to do that."

"But what about the engagement? He won't talk about it but he's got every rag sold at the checkout counter at the Piggly Wiggly that has something about you in it. He knows about that. He won't talk about it but he knows about it."

"It's all bullshit for the studios and the publicists. Sean and I aren't anything but really good friends."

George snorted and said, "He don't know that. Have you talked to him at all?"

"George, we did more than talk. We're fine. He understands and he met Sean and his boyfriend, Robin." George's eyes glaze over for a second and then he laughed out loud.

"So what now? He's got commitments here, Penny. You know how he is about 'contracts'." He didn't mention the going-no-where-thing with Tammi from the phone store.

"I got commitments back home, too. We're kinda screwed, ya know? I finally get him to admit he loves me and we're both screwed because of distance and legal and moral obligations. It would make a good chick flick if it wasn't so damned sad."

"Gotta go. Save me a dance and don't spit on the floor. This ain't Californication, y'know?" It was a joke between them from her last visit. He'd tried to put a move on her and she'd kneed him in the groin and set him straight. She was Sheldon's. He groaned but accepted the situation and they'd become wary friends.

* * *

Penny had another beer just as the 'Cooper Brothers' made their appearance. The bartender had insisted that she sit at the 'entertainers' table' and she jumped at the chance. It was closer to the stage than the others and it would let her 'Sheldon gaze' unsuspected.

He spotted her sitting at 'his' table and shot her a grin that slipped into a soft and sad smile and he started to play.

The band was scheduled to do two sets and when they took a break, Sheldon walked straight to her, pulled her upright and kissed her and her blazing blush brought applause and whistles from the customers. The sound system popped on in the middle of some country song and he led her out onto the crowded dance floor.

Penny melted against him, both arms snaking around his neck while his large hands rested lightly on her hips. This was the first time she'd ever danced with Sheldon and she almost cried because of how sweet he was and how much she'd miss things like this – just a girl dancing with her guy.

He leaned down and whispered that he loved her and wanted her to spend the rest of her time in Texas with him, doing 'whatever' and she couldn't say 'no'. "I have to be back on the set on Wednesday and we're flying out Tuesday so…yes, Lee, I'll spend every second with you, doing 'whatever' as often as we like."

Sheldon left her at the table and went back up on stage. Penny fended off a few offers to dance and just soaked up atmosphere and the fun that surrounded her. Yeah, she could see herself living this life with him but then reality set in and Penny finished her beer and tried not to cry. Life was so damned unfair.

Sheldon followed her to the motel where she packed her bag and checked out and then they drove out to his place to begin their long goodbye.


	12. Scouting Trip

The Incident

Sheldon was standing in his kitchen cooking breakfast when Penny woke alone in their bed. They'd made love (_it's not having sex, Penny, not between us_) twice before falling asleep in each other's arms and she missed him, even though she could hear him in the kitchen.

Penny wrapped herself in the sheet that had come loose sometime during their wild night and padded out to the kitchen in search of 'Lee' and coffee. She'd settle for 'Lee'.

"Hey, sleepy head, it's about time you woke up. We've got a lot to do and it's almost 7 o'clock." He smiled at her over his shoulder and motioned to the coffee pot with the skillet in his hand.

"Whatcha cookin' there, Lee? Smells heavenly." She sipped her coffee and set the cup down and walked over behind him and wrapped herself around his naked back, pressing kisses into his bare shoulder. "Mmm, I could get used to this, Shel. You, naked, me, naked, in our kitchen, hell, anywhere. I love you, Moon Pie."

"Love you too, Penny. As for nakedness…the sun down here will 'tan your hide' and make you look like a blonde lobster in no time. Can't have my girl peeling in front of the cameras."

They ate quietly, just enjoying each other. His gaze rarely drifted below her collar bones and she found it hard to look anyplace else but at his face. She loved how healthy he looked with a deep tan that made his blue eyes jump out at you when he looked at you.

"Shel – um – Lee, what would it take, bottom line, for you to give up all this and return to California? I know you don't want to go back to CalTech and I understand why. I'd love to have you living with me, being my 'kept man,' until you find something you wanted to do or win the Nobel Prize and then the world's yours for the taking. So, what would it take."

"A miracle, Penny, a miracle. I love you but I don't think I can handle California anymore and you, your future is in California so maybe…maybe we can just try and spend as much time together whenever we can. I'll never love another and I'm not a cheater, Penny, so that's my bottom line."

She felt the tears stream down her cheeks and when Sheldon reached over and dried them with a napkin it was more than she could bear. She jumped up, still half-wrapped in the sheet, and ran to their bedroom and closed the door.

Sheldon didn't bother knocking. It was _his_ room and besides, considering their recent intimacy, there was little he would see that was new.

She was sprawled across the bed and sobbing into his pillow and he laid down beside her and whispered that he would try to spend as much 'down time' with her as possible but that between the ranch, the breeding company and his teaching duties, it wouldn't be much.

"Penelope, perhaps you should just, um, move on. I meant what I said in the kitchen, Penny. I'll never love another and I'm no cheater. Just ask Leslie about that. I'm not giving us up, Penny, just facing facts. C'mon, dry those eyes and lets make the most out of the time we have left together."

* * *

The day flew by and was filled with 'firsts' for Penny. She met Conqueror and laughed when Sheldon told her why he doesn't pen him up. "The damned bull tears up yards of fence and always ends up sleeping in front of the porch steps so I just taught him to come when I whistle and don't bother penning him up. Now the Brahma, that's another story. That's one mean bull and he and Conqueror don't take kindly to each other diddling their ladies so I have to keep them separate."

Late afternoon found them napping on a blanket in the shade of a cottonwood near the small brook that ran through the farthest portion of the acreage. Penny woke first and dressed and then tickled Sheldon awake.

"I'm hungry. Feed me, cowboy. Burned up a lot of calories this afternoon, honey, and I'm in need of sustenance. Feed me."

He barbequed steaks (bought at the Piggly Wiggly since none of his were market ready yet) and Penny handled the sides. She concentrated on what she was doing, trying to keep her mind off how she was going to handle being without Lee Cooper, Sheldon Cooper, Dr. S. L. Cooper, PhD, in her life.

* * *

The Labor Day party was huge and everyone who came brought 'something good to eat' and the string of folding tables groaned under the weight of baked bean and string bean casseroles, cole slaw and potato salad, various green salads, buns, hotdogs and hamburgers.

And there were Melonies. Several of Lee's students brought their melons and there were several bouts of catapulting poor Melony out over the fence and into the cow pasture. The kids loved it as did the hungry cows.

Penny sat and talked with Mary and Missy Cooper for a while but every time the subject turned to Los Angeles and her acting career, she abruptly changed the subject. Sensing that any 'gossip' was not forthcoming, Mary walked away to find something 'decent to eat' leaving Missy who pinned Penny to the chair with her glare.

"You told him you love him more than anything, Penny, but you're leaving tomorrow? Hell, that makes no sense at all."

"He told me the same thing but he's not leaving to be with me so what's with the glare? We're going to try to get together as often as possible but…I don't know if it'll be enough, y'know?"

"He'll be faithful unto death, Penny. It's how he is. Leslie couldn't understand that about him. Couldn't imagine being with just _one_ man for the rest of her life. It hurt him bad, girlfriend. Made him turn inward and he got so OCD it was painful."

"You – you think he'll do that again when I leave? We both have contracts and jobs we need. Will – will you call me if he starts 'getting inside himself' again? Please?"

* * *

All too soon they were at the airport and saying goodbye. Penny had promised herself that she wouldn't make a scene but the moment her flight was called she broke into tears and kissed him sloppily and then ran towards the gate. She was a wreck the entire flight back to California.

Sheldon drove slowly back to his little backwater community, hardly paying attention to his driving, deep in thought. They were so screwed. He had a commitment to teach through May and he also had several contracts for the new breed of cattle to honor. Yep, they were so screwed.

The new school year was almost an exact repeat of the summer except that Delilah no longer bitched about her blackboards because he'd started the year off with his own precious white boards.

The classes were still fun to teach and the projects he dreamed up for his students were innovative and effective. He taught 4 full sections and his class load was full. There were few vacant seats in his classes.

The Cooper Brothers still played at the Library Lounge even after his brother, George, had paid off his debts and managed to put a little away for a rainy day. The crowds were still rowdy and the Friday and Saturday night crowds were loud and enthusiastic. His 'tip jar' frequently included phone numbers and notes from various young ladies but he always tore them up into tiny pieces and left them in the ashtray.

He was miserable.

* * *

Lee quit buying the Soap Opera magazines at the Piggly Wiggly checkout counter while he and Penny talked almost nightly for the first month but then she was off to do some location shots for two weeks before he heard from her again.

"Hey, Shel. It's me. I'm sorry I couldn't call but we were shooting day and night and you're always in class or asleep when I find myself with free time to call."

"So how is Fiji? Getting a good tan? Please remember to use lots of sunscreen, Penny. With your fair complexion and intense sun, the risk of melanoma is potentially high." Her soap was shooting a story arc that used Fiji as background. She'd told him the story but he'd hardly paid attention. He missed her so much and he just enjoyed listening to the sound of her voice.

"Yes, my love, I'm slathering myself with it and Sean makes sure I get all the hard-to-reach spots. He's such a dear."

He couldn't help but frown. Sure, Sean was gay but…

"So, Shel, I was thinking…how about putting me up for a few days? I'm been shot and I'm in a coma so I won't have any lines for 6 or 7 days. We've already shot the hospital room scenes of me in a coma from various angles and they have a lot of tape in the can. Think you could squeeze me into your busy schedule?"

"When and where? I'll pick you up at the airport, okay?" She noticed the change in his voice and how happy he suddenly seemed.

"No, Lee. I'm going to rent a car at the airport and drive down. I have some errands to run while I'm there and I'll need wheels. I'll call you with my schedule. Um, Lee? I think we need to talk when I get down there, okay?"

He froze for just a moment but Penny knew him and knew exactly what he was thinking. In some respects, _Lee_ Cooper was such an improvement over _Sheldon_, but he seemed to have a lot more insecurities where Penny/Lee were concerned. Sheldon would have taken her statement at face value but _Lee_ saw the possible subtext to almost anything she said about their 'relationship'.

He remembered what his _wife_ had said; _'I'll be done here in a minute, Sheldon, and then we need to talk.'__'_

"No, baby, not _that_ talk; never that kind, not ever. No. I just mean, hell, I should have kept my big mouth shut. I'll see ya in two days, Lee. Don't bother getting all dressed up for little ol' me. In fact…don't get dressed at all."

* * *

Pasadena

Leonard cursed the day he was born, his mother, his father, and his siblings who were so much 'more' than expected while he was somehow 'less' in his parents' view.

But he reserved the most crude, vile and malodorously scatological epithets for his former best friend and colleague, Sheldon Lee Cooper, the man responsible for his exile to the South Fucking Pole.

'_Dr. Hofstadter, I don't see Dr. Cooper on the roster of returning professors. I warned you but I've since had a change of heart. An international team has a position open and we've been invited to send an accredited experimental physicist. I've selected you, and you leave in two weeks' time. That should be enough time for you to settle your 'affair', don't you think? My assistant department chair has your travel packet. See her on your way out. Enjoy your year with the Russians."_

'Her' was Leslie Winkle, newly divorced, newly engaged and suddenly promoted. God, how he hated Sheldon Cooper.

Howard Wolowitz was also assigned to an international team of scientists and engineers but in a far more hospitable clime – Lyon, France – where he would be working with several foreign engineers attempting to design and test 'environmental survival suits'.

What he didn't know was that the suits were to be tested by the design engineers themselves, often alone and without support – in French Guyana, the Australian Outback, the Sahara – and the South Pole.

* * *

Rajeesh Koothrappalli applied for a position at the University of Bombay (in Mumbai) and was accepted. He would be able to live with his parents and save a fortune and perhaps find a good Indian girl to continue his lineage.

But he had a 'debt of honor' to repay and so instead of flying directly to London and then on to Mumbai, he flew to Houston and drove to see the friend he'd betrayed at the Magnetic North Pole and beg his forgiveness. He had a healthy respect for karma.

Lee Cooper was in the middle of lecturing his 2nd year physics class on the importance of proper data collection and recording before sending them out on a weekend field trip to measure changes in the Earth's magnetic field over a wide area of East Texas when Raj appeared at the door of his classroom.

There was a brief 'bro hug' and then Sheldon introduced Raj to his class as 'my best friend and associate' from CalTech.

The entire class was quiet as Raj apologized formally to Sheldon for his part in corrupting his collected data on their Magnetic Pole Expedition and begged for forgiveness that was quickly given. Lee had no axe to grind with Raj, none at all, or with Howard either, for that matter.

They went out to dinner at Pizza Hut and drank beer and Lee introduced Sheldon to Tammi the T-Mobile girl, and they hit it off famously and Raj soon left with her. She was fascinated by his accent and he was, by far, the most exotic man she'd ever met and she was by far the horniest girl in the county and Lee smiled at Raj's good fortune and then drove home.

* * *

Penny's flight was packed and for once she was glad that she could easily afford an upgrade to 1st class. She had money in the bank, the backing of her producers and their investors and now all she needed was to scout out locations, make a few calls and then she was free to begin a new life with the man of her dreams.

The drive down to Sheldon's (_Lee, damn it, Penny, he's Lee now_) small community took her longer than expected. It was raining and the roads were slick and she didn't want to end up in an accident so close to her goal.

She drove directly to Lee's school and asked the office clerk where she could find 'Dr. Cooper' and was told that 'Lee' was between classes and she wasn't sure. She gave Penny the classroom number for his next class and Penny went there and took a seat in the furthest corner of the stadium-style class room and waited.

* * *

_Flashback_

_Penny and her agent met with the studio honchos as planned the Thursday after Labor Day. Penny laid out her proposal and told them that the first '10 episodes are already written' and that she was shopping for investors to fund her own production company. The series she had bought the rights to was 'sure to be a hit' with the desired demographic._

_Actually, she said that 'younger people will relate to the characters facing real life situations, not the sit-coms that dominated the networks'. She also told them that she was giving NBS 'right of first refusal' before shopping it to TNT, USA or A&E. (She'd paid an entertainment lawyer $500 for an hour of his time to make sure she had the right vocabulary to use. It was money well spent)._

_Her agent told the studio execs that 'A&E' was really interested in a weekly series that touched on younger singles and their day-to-day struggles with real life and their 'money people' had asked for a meeting._

_The studio execs told her 'we'll be in touch' and that was that. The next morning she flew to Fiji and put all thoughts of 'Home to Texas' out of her mind and concentrated on 'Damaged Goods'. _

_All that changed when Penny's agent called her and told her that she had bad news and good news. She asked for the bad news first._

"_Well, Penny, they're killing you off and writing you out of Damaged Goods. They don't want to invest more 'face time' with someone they aren't going to be using. It's common in soaps."_

"_Okay, what's the good news?"_

"_You're going to Texas!"_

A/N: One more chapter and that's the end of it. Thanks for hanging in there, you loyal 271 readers.

Rep


	13. Little Miss 36CCups

Chapter 12

He drove slowly into town and then onto the 3C campus. He had to park in the 'general population' lot as the students referred to it because he'd given his faculty spot to one of his students for solving the 'class problem' of the week. He didn't mind the almost quarter mile hike unless it was raining like this morning, and even then the warm rain seemed a nice touch to his day.

"Morning, Dr. Cooper," was a familiar greeting now that had surprised him at first but now it had become a pleasant way to start his day. No one said 'boo' to Dr. Sheldon Cooper, PhD, at CalTech and he wasn't surprised by it. Sheldon Cooper would have ignored or had some smart retort but Lee Cooper always smiled and said 'hello'.

Lee walked into the faculty locker room and pulled a towel from his locker and dried his hair into a wild mop and then finger-combed it into some semblance of order. He hadn't bothered with a haircut since returning to Texas and it was getting long and unmanageable but he hadn't had the time to get it cut, something he'd have to do some day soon.

He had a few minutes so he slipped into the vending area and bought a cup of what passed for coffee in this magnificent institution of higher learning and then walked to his classroom, mentally organizing his lecture for his first section. He never bothered with notes since his eidetic memory made them unnecessary.

Lee's original lesson plan called for a repeat session of 'Melony' but the weather failed to cooperate although he was prepared for it. This lecture would deal with the inclined plane, a jump ahead of what should have been the lever/fulcrum combination that he'd become 'famous' for locally after some student posted his lesson on YouTube.

He figured that they could use a folding table from the cafeteria as the inclined plane and perhaps a student as a pyramid block and then demonstrate one way the early pyramid builders might have moved those massive sandstone blocks 4,000 years ago. He wasn't really paying attention to what was going on around him as he walked into 'his' classroom. It was just another day in the life of Lee Cooper, Texan, and he was satisfied with it.

* * *

Penny watched him walk down the steps from her perch in the 'nose bleed' section of the classroom down to the podium area. His white boards were all blank and she watched as he began drawing diagrams and labeling parts and then scrawling notes beside his drawings.

He must have been rushed this morning because she saw the stubble on his cheeks when he passed by and she smiled when she saw how messed up and sexy his hair looked.

'_Mmm, I'll cut his hair for him. Just a little trim here and there. Sitting in his kitchen, a towel around his neck and me straddling his thighs and running my fingers through his hair, scissors snipping just a little bit here and there to prolong things…'_

She crossed her bare legs and felt the sudden warmth and grinned. She was so getting laid tonight. And tomorrow and the next day and the next…

Students started filing in and Penny was surprised by just how many students were taking Physical Science and by how many rushed to fill the seats closest to the podium – and how most of those rushing were girls. Pretty girls. Wearing skimpy tops and bottoms and more makeup than one would expect.

'_My Moon Pie has no idea what's going on with that but I'd better stake my claim publicly.'_

Lee finished making his notes and stood behind the podium to adjust the lights and sound, clipped the wireless microphone to his shirt and then stepped in front of the podium and started his lecture.

* * *

Penny listened attentively to his lecture and had to restrain herself from yelling at the student selected to be their 'sandstone block' to _'keep your hands off my man!'_ but from the look on his face, Lee was totally immune to her 36-C charms that she practically shoved in his face on more than one occasion.

_No wonder we all thought Sheldon was asexual or gay back in the day. He's so not either one – he's just incredibly focused on what he's doing. I can't wait for me to be the 'focus' of his attention and his lips, fingers, tongue and – '_

She was startled out of her daydreams by the sound of a bell ringing and Sheldon (_Lee, damn it, Lee!)_ shouting reminders to bring their friends named Melony to the next class.

He tidied up his area, erased his white boards and started up the 'stadium stairs' to the exit and stopped dead when he heard 'Hey, cowboy, wanna fool around?'

"I'm sorry, but I don't 'fool around', especially with someone just barely out of high school. Besides, I'm happily taken." He looked into the darkened room at the location of the voice and she was tickled to see the look of disapproval on his face.

"Well, Moon Pie, will you hold still while I do?" Penny almost laughed as the disapproval faded into what could only be described as surprise and happiness.

"Penny!"

"You were expecting little Miss 36-C?"

* * *

A/N: Short but I have some issues to handle and I'll be disappearing for a bit in search of a new home for my fiction. Assuming I can still post, I'll leave notes as to where I've slithered off to.

Rep

6/14/2012


	14. Settling Down for Good

Final Chapter

They ate lunch at Murline's Diner and Penny enjoyed seeing some of the people she'd met at the big Labor Day Picnic. Other than a few autograph requests, people left them alone although one older rancher tried to talk to Lee about 'breeding up' the Longhorns and the discussion got into territory that left Penny in a daze.

"Sorry about that, Penelope. Sometimes the most interesting discussions and deals happen here over lunch. Now, tell me all about your 'death' and what it means to us. I hate that you're being written off the show, Penny. I know how much being an actress has meant to you. If you need money…"

She reached across the table in their booth and put her fingers on his lips, smiling. She knew he'd do anything for her and this was just an example of why she loved this man so much that it hurt.

"Lee, how would you feel about letting me move in with you for about the next, oh, I don't know, 40 or 50 years?" For the billionth time she wished she had a camera to capture the look on his face.

"Wha – what?" His eyes got big and a smile started to split his face, not one of those creepy Joker-smiles like in Pasadena but a real smile like he'd given her back at the Library Lounge and again so many times since that weekend.

"Lee, I'm taking a really big chance on something. I'm going to produce and star in my own dramatic series and it'll be filmed right here, baby, right here in this 'wide spot in the road'. It's all about a woman whose marriage fails and her career falls apart and so she comes home…to Texas. I've got to find a building to convert into a soundstage and then meet with the investors who are flying down to see how things look before letting go of their cash but…"

"Here? Here in – " He was so overwhelmed that he couldn't string words together. She'd thrown away one sure thing for a chance to be here with him and still have her dream. It was humbling and he felt so undeserving of her and so proud of her.

"Are you disappointed, Lee? Say something!" He was looking out the window of the diner and seeing something far away and deep in his own mind.

"You can stay with me forever and a day, Penny. Are you sure this is in your best interests, Penny?"

"It's definitely in my best interests. I get to act, have a say-so in my own future, spend quality time with my boyfriend who I hope will change that status to something more permanent, and the NBS people are onboard so…yeah, Moon Pie…yeah, it's in my best interests…our best interests, Lee."

He pulled out his cell and scrolled down his list of contacts and made a call.

"Tammi, if you can peel Raj off you, can you answer a quick question?" He laughed when he heard his friend mumble something about 'too early' but blushed when Tammi told Raj she'd wake him up 'right and proper' in the shower.

_"Shoot, Lee. Raj is taking a shower. I can't thank you enough for introducing us. He's…he's not like anyone I've ever met before and guess what? He's taking me to India to meet his mother and father!"_

"That's nice. Yeah, he's unique all right. Now, does your daddy still own that refrigerated warehouse out near the rail spur?"

_"Oh, yeah. That's an albatross around his neck. He was bitchin' up a storm just last night when Raj and I went over there to dinner. Says it's killin' him."_

"Will he sell or lease it?"

_"Why?"_

"Call him and tell him someone wants to lease it if the price is right and the terms are fair and equitable. Also tell him that if he plays his cards right, he might get on the TV, just like JR on Dallas – of course it would be just a walk-on..." Her father owned half the county and had an ego so he just appealed to his weak spots, money and fame.

_"I'll call you right back…well, after I shower. In a couple hours."_

Penny looked across the table at him and tried not to glare or spoil the mood. She didn't want to fight but Lee knew nothing about what she needed, nothing at all.

"Eat up, my Queen, drink your lemonade and then let's head out. I think a heavily insulated and isolated building with plenty of square footage should do fine as a sound stage or studio. I just lit a fire under Raj's new girlfriend, Tammi, the T-Mobile girl I introduced you to at the picnic…she's kept Raj busy for 3 days. Poor guy probably hasn't…well, anyhow, he's taking her to India to meet the folks."

She nodded, not trusting her voice. She tried not to feel resentment but it was hard. He knew nothing about her craft and…

"Penny, if we wrap this up before dinner, I'd like to drive down to Galveston and do some shopping."

"Let's go check out the plant and then talk about us and what plans you have. A TV program right here in 'Flyspeck, Texas'. Fascinating. Tell me about the story line again on the way out to the Flats."

"Flats? Everything around here is either rolling hills or marshland."

"An Interstate was supposed to go by here and some developers back in the late 80s bulldozed the hills and filled in the swamps and marshes and built an 'industrial park' but the interstate never came through here and the railroad just ran a spur up here so yeah, it's called The Flats."

* * *

They took Penny's car and the drive took them through town, past the 3C and out about a mile or so and there stood a long line of warehouses and abandoned railcars all sitting out in the flat ground. Penny's eye took in the building Lee must have been thinking about and she hated to agree with him on this but – it looked perfect.

Tammi's father had spoken with his daughter and rushed out to meet Lee and the 'TV Executive' from Hollywood. He even shaved and changed into something more appropriate than his t-shirt and Bib overalls. He wanted to make a good impression.

He unlocked the doors to the 'office area' and the heat and smell of years of being closed off from anything resembling fresh air hit Penny like a hammer and she almost lost the chicken and dumplings she'd wolfed down at Murline's.

"It's a bit stuffy, Ms. Penny, but air it out a bit and fire up the A/C and it'll be right nice. It's dry and tight and there are several _feet_ of insulation in critical areas that will help with sound & temperature control. The floor is concrete and it's never been used so it's as clean today as it was 20 years ago."

"How much to lease for 2 years? Are the taxes current? How about utilities?" 'Business Penny' surprised Lee and he hid a smile behind his fingers and stepped back to watch his Queen weave a spell around Austin Jeter, probably the richest man in this part of Texas.

"Ah, well, I'd have to ask my CPA about taxes. Utilities won't be a problem. You can get 'lectric and water within a couple of days once deposits are put down. Anything else might take a week or more."

He watched Penny haggle and back Jeter into a corner and then ease off and allowed the man to save some face and then slam the door on the deal. She got the building, use of the immediate paved lot for trailers for cast and crew and somehow convinced Jeter that it was in his best interests to buy the trailers and lease them to her production company as part of the main lease.

Jeter left thinking he'd made a killing on the slick 'TV Exec' but Lee had been doing the math and she'd slipped in so many neat add-ons that she ended up getting the building and everything for far less than planned.

"Penny, I need you to come with me the next time I buy a car. They'll end up paying me to take it before you're done with them. Where'd you learn…"

"My agent gave me a crash course in negotiating. Now, let's head out to your place so I can unpack and unwind. Do you know how long it's been since we've been together?"

"You want the hours, the minutes, or the seconds?"

"It's been forever, sweetie, at least it seems like it to me. Fiji was so beautiful and I have _NO_ tan lines, Lee, but I missed you everyday and those few times we talked were poor substitutes for my lanky Texan, y'know?"

"I have an approximation of your levels of frustration, Penny. Believe me when I tell you that the hot water tank at the house got NO use except for laundry night. Cold showers, Penny, lots of cold, cold showers."

She couldn't stop herself. She didn't want to stop herself. She felt so happy to be finally at the one place she felt was 'home' but so sad that they'd lost so much time together. Penny let go of all her inhibitions and within just a few minutes they were naked and sweaty and the rental car windows steamed up and Penny was certain she'd have to pay some sort of penalty when she returned the car. The smell of raw sex would never come out of the upholstery.

* * *

Penny didn't get unpacked until Lee left for school the next morning. She didn't get dressed until later in the afternoon after he'd come back and said 'hello' in the only way she wanted. He said 'hello', and then he said, 'Hi' and then he finally said, "Get dressed, Penn. I'm taking you out to dinner. I have something to talk to you about. Go. Clothe thy nakedness in fine raiment whilst I return the mattress to its proper place."

Penny laughed and kissed him and then danced out of his grasp. Sheldon Cooper might have been traumatically asexual and emotionally withdrawn, but her Moon Pie was a walking erection and never seemed to get enough of her. The fact that the mattress was half-on and half-off the bed frame was proof of that. She'd lost track of how many times she'd cried out his name and how many times she felt his hot seed spill into her.

Just the way she always dreamed things would be when she found her soul mate.

* * *

Epilogue [of sorts]

Novo Sibirsk Antarctic Research Station

Leonard was teetering between thoughts of suicide and thoughts of murder. Every time he looked out the triple-paned thermally-sealed window of the small research station at the nothingness of the South Pole he had these thoughts.

'_A year? How in the hell am I going to survive a year here with just my work for company?'_

He'd just arrived and already he was miserable. And cold. He missed Winkle even if she did betray him.

The door of the small station opened and someone brought in his luggage and equipment from the plane. He'd been so damned cold he had just left it where it had been dumped by the crew of the small plane that had brought him and hustled inside the small station.

"Leonid, I am Olga Simonovich, the senior researcher here at the Russian Winter Research Station. Welcome."

"Uh, hi, I guess. What is there to do around here besides our research?" He couldn't even tell what this 'Olga' woman looked like except that she had on considerably more clothes than he thought possible.

"Well, Leonid, we drink vodka, tell each other lies, try not to kill each other and, of course, we fuck like bunnies to stay warm."

She started peeling off layers of clothing and soon looked like a human being with long reddish brown hair, green eyes and a body that Leonard knew he'd never get tired of.

'_Sheldon, I take it all back, buddy, every nasty thought and I hope someday you'll forgive me. But right now…'_

"Um, I think I'll like it here just fine."

* * *

Three years later  
Los Angeles, CA

"C'mon, Lee. She'll be fine with Missy. You worry too much. Now, remember, stay on my right side and smile sweetly – not like you're going to your own execution."

"She's only 2 and we've never really been away from her for this long…I'll call her and check up on her."

"Jenny will be fine. Let me fix your bow tie. Sheldon Lee Cooper, take your lips off my neck and your hands off my ass! If you make us late for the Emmy Awards, I'll superglue these legs together and…and…oh, Hell, they give out Best Actress last anyhow. Lose the clothes, Lee, and let's give Jenny a brother!"


End file.
